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Look man
I just got Dumped on the internet this morning without ever talking.
she logged on..dumped me and logged off.
FACTS of what happen:
She has been with 2 guys.
1 guy= jealous zealot= hired people to watch her.....was with her for 5yrs.
2nd guy= neglectful= she dumped him 2months prior to us meeting up. He was a fat slob too...sigh
OK so you would think she is mature right? 8yrs 2 guys....
Ok so last sunday...i was drunk. I looked at her phone while she was in shower....(privacy invasion)- I saw an open txt msg she recieved...IT READ AS FOLLOWS: " I thought you were waitin for a small mistake, why havent you dumped him yet?" MAYBE HER EX?
Im like woah...wtf???? I confront her. SHe avoids the txtmsg and gets upset and doesnt talk to me this whole week. We talk briefly online but she never called me. She drags it a whole week saying she wants to be alone....and is not ready to talk yet. SHe tells me to
1)lay low until we talk,
2)she says she doesnt want me to go away
3)she cares about me
4)said i was overreacting and being too emotional..
5) she loved how i was honest with her, bought her roses, and then Took her to a concert to see her fav music artist...something she never experienced.
I sent her 2 roses this week...signifying our 2month deal this tuesday. She said, AWWWWWW.....My best friend delivered them.
I told this girl everything guys, I told her my medical condition..she didnt mind...we slept together...NO SEX THOUGH.
IM A FUKIN MESS GUYS.
SHe didnt even give me the opportunity to read her the letter as follows:
The Cause of My Emotions
It’s bittersweet to have the entire week to just think of the entire situation from all angles. It’s tough to have guilt/resentment build up to levels unimaginable but then its ok to really think about the possibilities in the future. I have analyzed it completely and fully understand the magnitude of it. I had the entire weekend to just walk around campus when the rain was not pouring down to jot down ideas and thoughts as they came to me. I jogged miles and when a certain emotion came to my mind for this letter I wrote it down. You told me on Friday night that I was being overly dramatic and acting like it was the end of the world and didn’t want to see me get like that when we would talk. Well I had the entire weekend to gather my emotions and put them in this letter and use it as a guide to how I’ve felt. Let me be perfectly clear, this letter is not to make you feel bad or strike guilt because if anything this is a letter of opening my heart and having you take a look inside of it.
This is such an emotional time for me because throughout my life I have always succeeded in every aspect whether it being in social life, friendship, school, etc. I have always put my fullest effort and what I put in I received maximum results. The reason why it is such a big deal for me is this is my second relationship…This is my first grave mistake ever committed on my part in a relationship. I’ve always known people are not perfect and my entire life has been situated with trying to be the best in every aspect. Satisfying my girlfriend, being an excellent student, a caring son, and moral human being is something I’ve strived to continue to do throughout my life. In the past I have dealt with people making mistakes against me and they were tough to deal with. Now I am at the opposite end and it’s the worst feeling imaginable, trust me. I’m sure you understand because how I’ve been acting this entire week.
I wanted to put forth a story I read on CNN this week. A soldier from Iraq was in battle this week, when he was notified that his wife was shot in the head and she was pregnant. He was pulled from the battle and he endured long 3 sleepless nights on the way back to the hospital to see his wife. What I can pull from this story is the fact that this soldier endured a difficult 3 sleepless nights and frustrated with the fact that his entire future was slipping out of his hands. Just that prospect makes me think how agonizing it is for me to deal with this for an entire week, day by day. How terrible it is to have the future in front of you and beside you for 2months 24 7 and then have it suddenly disappear into thin air. A mistake I made well knowingly, a mistake I committed when fully knowing the difference between right and wrong. A mistake I committed foolishly and used substance abuse to hide the fact that I am human and I am not perfect. Something that is hard for me to admit because in my life I have never ever been faced with the reality of me as a failure. Together we can move on and become stronger since you and I can work and shape our relationship together. We can shape who we become and learn from each other more as we move together ahead. You can help me as I will help myself.
I have demonstrated through words and emotion how I felt about you since day 1. I am sure by this point that I’ve been completely serious about us from day 1. You said you didn’t want any games and I haven’t. Why my emotions have run so rapidly wild? My past is the perfect example; I have gone through so much as you already know that sitting on the opposite side of the table is not something I can deal with. I’ve never committed a ridiculous error as that. The error I made has shot right into my own heart. It is bleeding, Day by day as the week goes by, it continues to pour out. How does it pour it? My emotions continue to pour out relentlessly into the open for you to see. How do I close the wound? I ask you to help me and forgive me and by expressing how I truly feel about you through my emotions, my heart will close. Hopefully throughout the week you can now realize that my emotional bond to you has grown to a great level during our time together. People ask each other how they feel about each other: they say it and express it. This week I have gone the distance and showed you my heart and I deeply hope that you see my heart for what it truly represents of me: Which is a boyfriend who deeply cares about his girlfriend and has shown loyalty, responsibility and trustworthiness. My mistake should not derail my triangle of morals that I have achieved and displayed throughout our time together.
I hope you appreciate how I open I’ve been with you since day 1, hiding anything from you is something I would never consider. Even when close friends decide to speak wrongly, I know what the right thing to do is. Being honest with you is something I pride myself on. Since day 1 I’ve told you everything about me. But now you have learned something new about me and that is that I am emotional and that emotion is linked to my heart. My heart is what you have felt since day 1 and I hope you realize that now. That’s what has led me to be a good guy and I want you to see the overall me and not that blunder I made. I’d only wish I was perfect but God wants us all to continue to work on ourselves. One thing is for sure I want to have you beside me as I continue to do just that. Regardless what anyone tells you about me, I’d hope you have come to understand that if you didn't have sad times then you wouldn't appreciate the great times since there would be no difference. I have tried my very best to be the best boyfriend I can be and I wanted to tell you the reason I want to be with you is quite simple. We talked about the 3 things I look for in a girlfriend. You have all the credentials: loyalty, responsibility, trustworthiness. It is so frustrating for me to deal with the prospect of losing my baby for which I put my entire life and heart out in the open for her to see. It’s so frustrating making a mistake under such circumstances because that mistake doesn’t show who I really am. What makes relationships stronger is dealing with ups and downs because they are inevitable. Moving together in such a rollercoaster with twists and turns is what makes unity and happiness much stronger. I know my error was not a fatal one but I lost credibility. My emotions towards you I hope can show you who I am overall: A boyfriend who you can rely on to be open, loyal and caring forever. I just hope that today we can resolve this and move on together baby. I sincerely hope you didn’t want to drag this for a whole week to slam the book shut. I come to you and I’ve thrown my heart out into the open with emotions and to tell you that I am Sorry. Hopefully tomorrow on our 2month anniversary we can eat some pie and go see Spongebob the move---I have nothing to hide from you besides the fact that I am not perfect and hopefully you can accept that.
Let me quote Shakespeare as I’ve be researching relationships and love:
“The course of true love never did run smooth.”
Last edited by speedracer_mec on Nov-22-2004 at 20:50
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