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Originally posted by Slylee i just wanted to know if i'm crazy or not. well i know i'm crazy but...u know what i mean

of course we do *sniff sniff*

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Originally posted by Floorfiller ok here is what i think...i read your posts jamie...but not all of the others so hopefully it won't be redundant... first, i think that it's a little wierd that you go to the bar with your mom. don't take that the wrong way...i'm just saying, i think that over time given the troubles in your past for both of you, you two have developed more of a "girlfriends" relationship rather than a mother daughter one. that sort of thing has, as you already said, made your mom somewhat reliant on you and the attention she recieves from you. your moom sees you growing up and moving on with your life as a block in your relationship with her. that is the reason for the obsessive calling and such. second, i've seen both sides of a mother daughter relationship that reminds me of yours. my ex girlfriend loved her mom a lot, but sometimes they would do things to drive each other crazy. her mom constantly nitpicked at things she did...and tried to make her feel bad about certain things...namely performance in school...work etc. having been there through all of it, and then being there when she was in africa...i realized that her mom really did just want the best for her. when she left the country, i'd talk to her mom on the phone every so often and i could tell how worried she was about her...and how depressed she was that she was away...and i'm sure your mom feels similar. your mom is just too proud to admit when she is wrong or to let you know how important you are to her. so i think if you can realize that...then maybe you can live with some of your mom's harsh criticism because it really is just the tough love rob mentioned. just know that she has your best interests at heart. as for the boyfriend thing... i'm sure that the reason your mom doesn't like your boyfriend is because of the break up you guys had before you got back together. maybe she saw that time as a really painful time for you and she doesn't want you to get hurt in the same way...i'm sure it doesn't help that she has had some relationship problems of her own it sounds like, so she probably isn't very trusting of the men you date to begin with anyway. anyway... i think it's hard on you, but eventually you should probably be the bigger person and take the step towards repairing things. i know you're a strong individual...and it really doesn't sound like your mother shares that trait. you do need to get past taken every little thing she says to heart though. you shouldn't sacrifice your mental health for her, but i think you just need to get to a point where you don't feel the need to please her...just from what i know about you...you sound like you're really doing great these days, and i'm sure she sees some of that...what you allow her to see. so i'm not saying don't ever take your mother's advice...i'm just saying that you shouldn't take everything she says so crushingly serious.

yea i really am trying to see where she is coming from, and i do...but she doesn't really help things by being so damn hard headed. i mean we're all that way, and i know i am too.

about taking things she says personal...i can't help that no matter how hard i try. there are 2 people in my life who can bring me to tears in seconds if they tell me they are disappointed in me and they are my mom and dad. not even my boyfriend could phase me like that. i guess that is a problem that i have to work on myself.

about going to the bar...i dont think that's weird at all, because lots of my friends are cool like that with their parents and have gone out and had a beer or two together. i've gone out and played pool and drank beers with my dad lots of times, but you don't see us like that. but you are very right about us being more like girlfriends.

i dont want u guys to think im like this angel either....i have said some pretty mean shit to her...she called me a selfish bitch right to my face one time and i threw something at her. i mean that's not like a regular thing for us, but it has happened. she just said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and i lost it, so i dont think there is a lot of respect on both our parts. she doesn't respect me at all becauase what kind of mother will sit there and call her daughter a bitch and then have this surprised look on her face when i give it right back to her? it's like you can't disrespect someone and then demand that they respect you. that's not how it works.

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

yeah we all carry pain with us, some more than others. really sucks when ppl put you down especially parents. group hug for jamie!

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GIGANTIC CUNT

ok, here is what i think i'm gonna do.

michael19 u mentioned talking in person.... lol that's never an option because we both get mad and start yelling or crying and we get nowhere...my mom and i are famous for battling with pens...or the keyboard i should.

anyway, i really don't think we'll get anywhere by just making up and trying to talk it out ourselves. things might be good for a week like JayD said, but then it'll happen again. so i think i'll tell her that i want to work things out, but in counseling with a family therapist. i guess i can afford $40 a week if it will help us. i just think that she needs to hear some criticism from a professional. she'll listen to people like that, but if it comes from her daughters or her mother forget it!

i also have to keep in my mind that my mother never had a good mother...my nana was a severe alcoholic and my mom is the oldest of 6...so she pretty much raised her brothers and sisters. so i think she overdid it with me and my sister...makes sense to me.

boy that therapist is gonna have his work cut out for him!

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

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Originally posted by Slylee ok, here is what i think i'm gonna do. michael19 u mentioned talking in person.... lol that's never an option because we both get mad and start yelling or crying and we get nowhere...my mom and i are famous for battling with pens...or the keyboard i should. anyway, i really don't think we'll get anywhere by just making up and trying to talk it out ourselves. things might be good for a week like JayD said, but then it'll happen again. so i think i'll tell her that i want to work things out, but in counseling with a family therapist. i guess i can afford $40 a week if it will help us. i just think that she needs to hear some criticism from a professional. she'll listen to people like that, but if it comes from her daughters or her mother forget it! i also have to keep in my mind that my mother never had a good mother...my nana was a severe alcoholic and my mom is the oldest of 6...so she pretty much raised her brothers and sisters. so i think she overdid it with me and my sister...makes sense to me. boy that therapist is gonna have his work cut out for him!

i think that sounds like a good plan. i think we can all use a little therapy



of course some of us like me are too stubborn and prideful to ever do it and try to play self therapist hehehe

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Originally posted by Floorfiller of course some of us like me are too stubborn and prideful to ever do it and try to play self therapist hehehe

all you need is TA!


get your mom to sign up slylee and we can all be the therapist.



if shes a MILF as you say even better, she might get herself a nerdy TA sex boy out it too!

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Liverpool Champions of Europe 2005!


TA's NFL survival League winner 2006!

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Originally posted by Michael19 all you need is TA! get your mom to sign up slylee and we can all be the therapist. if shes a MILF as you say even better, she might get herself a nerdy TA sex boy out it too!

TA is definitely cheaper (and mroe effective for me) than a therapist... but i dont think slylee wants her mom in the COR.

but the COR wants her. shes a cougar

also, based on things others said, it sounds like maybe your mom might not like your bf cause he takes your attention away from her.

you probably know the things you need to do to fix your problem; you just need some help to go do them cause they arent going to be easy. you can do it!

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Originally posted by Slylee i'm 50/50 i was just curious to know if anyone has gone through, or is going through similar things w/ their mothers and if they think it's right or not, that's all.

My mother went through an extremely difficult childhood with both her parents dying when she was quite young, and then she suffered more in the marrriage and divorce, and then managed to marry a loser again. So she is a bit fo a nervous wreck and get stressed over pretty much everything. Her emotional make-up is majorly influenced by these events.

The problem with parents is that they often refuse to see their children as adults.

My mother and I have a pretty large personality clash, as she is a devout Christian and I am quite non-religious.

You see people use different tactics to get their way in life and one of the most common for parents is to be extremely emotionally manipulative; they know how to push the buttons to make their kids feel guilty and bad and they do it. A part of growing older is becoming independent and not letting your emotions be too influenced by your parents.

You think your mother plays some good games, well mine wrote me a letter that said that she disapproves of my lifestyle, apparently she heard I have sex and do other bad stuff, and said she won't ever speak to me again. Thats fucking harsh, and well, I am happy with the person I am and if you like me well thats fine and if you don't like me that fine too, but I'm not going to have people in my life that don't appreciate me or don't like me as a person, so I accepted her decision and moved on.

She now contacts me and is nicer to me than she ever has.

Its important when people try and play emotional blackmail with you that you show you are stronger, and if its getting to the stage where it affecting your happiness and personal relationships its time to make some tough choices.

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara