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Abhay
banned user

Registered: May 2004
Location: mould coast
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Apu:
Good FOod, Good curry, Good Ghandi, let's hurry.
* APu and his assistant have to Leave...
"apu, what are we going to do about the store?"
*Apu pulls out four year old kid, and puts on top of the counter
Apu: Little SAnjay, I am trusting you with this honourable position of control over my store.
Sanjay: Oh, how I have waited for this moment,
*Punk teens in the store, see the kid, and start eating merchandise.
*sanjay pulls out a double barraled shotgun, and cocks it.
*punk teenagers' jaw drops. they drop the merchandise.
At the post office, HOmer is posing as Mr. Burns.
Homer: "HELLOoooo, my name is Mr BUrnss...."
Attendant: "yeah, what's your first name Mr. Burns?"
Homer: " I Don't KNowwwww"
*he gets thrown out of the post office, like a bag of trash. (Detroit style)
Last edited by Abhay on Jul-18-2005 at 22:28
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Jul-18-2005 22:20
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Spike
RUN GO! GET TO THE CHOPPA

Registered: May 2003
Location: Markham, ON, Canada
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mrs. lovejoy: they're having s-e-x in the c-l-o-s-e-t!
homer: (gasps) SEX CAULDREN!?
Apu: Jiminy Cricket! Wooh, expired ham. [scribbles over the expiry
date]
Oh, this time I have gone to far. No, no one will fall for --
Homer: Woo hoo! Cheap meat! [picks it up] Ooh, this one's open.
[starts eating it]
Homer: Your old meat made me sick!
Apu: Oh, I'm so sorry. [gets a pail of shrimp] Please accept five
pounds of frozen shrimp?
Homer: [holds one up, sniffs it] This shrimp isn't frozen! And it
smells funny.
Apu: OK, ten pounds.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Homer: Don't be alarmed, Apu. Just go about your daily routine like I'm
not wearing the hat.
Apu: Your headgear seems to be emitting a buzzing noise, sir. Perhaps
you have a bee in your bonnet?
Homer: Bee? Aah! [stomps on hat, runs out]
Kent: Homer, that hat's been with the station twenty years! He had one
day left till retirement.
Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats]
[Apu turns off the TV]
I think I come off very well.
Woman: Monster! Run, children.
Woods: 75, 85, 90, and a dollar. Thank you, and come again. Hey, wait
a minute! Hey! Uh...could I just ask you a question? Did
you...did you _believe_ that, the way I gave you the change? Did
I sound like a _real_ Kwik-E-Mart, you know, kind of guy?
Jimbo: Actually, I thought it was a little labored.
Woods: Oh.
Jimbo: You've got to lose yourself in the moment, man!
Woods: Yeah, like, yeah, OK, great! OK, let's, let's just try that
again, OK? Come on. Hey, come on -- hey! Get over here. OK,
now you're you, I'm me.
Jimbo: [with trepidation] I'm me?
Woods: [grabs his collar] Hey -- don't..._jerk_ me around, fella.
James Woods cleans out the microwave with a scraper while talking on his
cellular phone.
Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this. ...How
can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a
convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter? ...Uh huh...uh
huh...mm hmm...well, actually, that's a pretty good explanation. {Now
this is gross, right, this'll be _gross_ points in this new...? OK.
Yeah, 'cause there's monkey -- yeah, OK, great.}
OK, good: book me a flight, rent me an igloo, and tell those dorks at
the Kwik-E-Mart that boom! I am outta here, I'm a dot, I'm gone, OK?
...What do you mean, I gotta give two weeks' notice? Why you frickin',
no good, motha [beep] [beep] cheese! ...No, not you, I'm just talking
to my oven.
___________________
"The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!" - homer
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Jul-19-2005 03:01
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