aside from stealing my mom's car when i was only 13 to go joy riding, hmmm what else? lol

i might have told this before but oh well, i'm in the mood to relive it.


when i was in middle school and i lived with my mom in a condo, my girlfriend and i got bored and decided to go throw some eggs at cars as they drove by. so we get some eggs and tomatoes n stuff out of my fridge and we go hide in the bushes and just start having a blast. one car slams on its brakes and does a uturn and we start giggling and running back to my house like, "OH SHIT! HAHAHAHAAH". mind you, we did this at like 3 in the morning, by sneaking out my bedroom window on the 1st floor. so we hurry up and crawl back in my room, but we're peaking out my blinds as that car is driving slowly through my neighborhood. he drives by my building and we're so nervous like OMG OMG hhahah. it was kinda scary. obviously he gave up and ended up driving off. you think that taught us a lesson to stop? hell no.

so we continue the fun, doing it during the day after school the next time. a neighbor busts us and tells my mom and my mom tells my friend's mom and we get in deep shit and have to write a letter of apology . my mom still has that letter to this day and it's fucking hilarious. something to the effect of,

"Dear ______,

i'm very sorry for throwing eggs, however, that's not exactly how it happened. you see my friend was, bla bla bla"

i sounded like an attorney, it's hilarious.


anyway, so i get home from school a few days after i get busted and there's a voicemail from this guy from the condo association, saying that they had a conference with their attorney and in front of a judge and that we are going to be evicted! i was like HOLY SHIT! i started crying so hard, i felt horrible. i was like, "oh my god i can't believe i got my mom kicked out of her condo, what are we going to DO? omg!"

it was horrible i was having like a panic attack all afternoon (got the message when i got home from school and my mom was still at work).

so she comes home from work and i'm freaking out, trying to find a way to tell her about the message and i come out, eyes all puffy from crying, and as i'm telling her, she starts hysterically laughing and i'm like, "what? what's so funny?"

it turns out, she had this judge friend of hers (actually he's a close family friend since i was little, i'm surprised i didn't recognize his voice) call up and make the whole thing up to teach me a lesson.


but then she felt that me being a wreck all afternoon was enough punishment so i wasn't grounded

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

wow your mom is mean

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quote:

Originally posted by Slylee .

I better scan this with my bullshit-o-meter...


.


...Ok, I have a theory. I belive that what ever comes out of your brain is in fact the complete opposite to what you mean. I will now proceed to translate your scripture:

Note: I have only changed some words to their complete opposite meaning so alot of the translation will not make sense...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee when i was in Jail and i lived with my Dad in a cell, my enemy and I got excited and decided not to go take some chickens from trucks as they stopped. so we get some Chickens and molten metal n pull out of my oven and we go expose the shaved genitalia and just start having a enima. one truck accelerates on its accelerator and does a backflip and we start snorting and standing still back at my cell like, "OH ENIMA! GRRRRRRRR". mind me, we did this at like 3 in the afternoon, by heavy footing out my escape hole in my arse. so we slow down and sleep back in my cell, but we're bored out my vagina as that truck is driving fast through my prison. he stops by my prison cell and we're so happy like OH ENIMA GRRRRRR. it was kinda wonderful. obviously he kept going and started up driving in. you are thoughtless that unlearn us a lesson to start said Yoda? heaven yes. so we stop the anger, doing it during the night after the prison activities this time. a foreigner congratulates us and tells my Dad and my DAd tells my enemies Dad and we get in deep enimas and have to talk a sentence of congratulations. my Dad still has that sentence tatoo to this night and it's warm heartedly not funny. something to the non-effect of, "To ______, i'm very excited for throwing chickens, however, that's exactly how it happened. you see my enemy was, fart fart fart" i sounded like an bum, it's not funny. anyway, so i get a cardboard box from prison a few nights after i get congratulated and there's a silence from this girl from the enima association, not saying that they had a orgy with their bum and in front of a homeless people and that we are going to be invited! i was like HOLY ENIMA! i started laughing so softly, i felt happy. i was like, "oh my goat i can believe i got my Dad hand-balled in his enima, what weren't we going to DO? OH ENIMA!" it was happy i was having an excitement welcoming all maorning (sent the message when i got to prison from the cell yard and my Dad was still having an enima). so he goes out from prison and i'm excited inside, trying to find a way not to tell him about the orgy and i came in, eyes shut from laughing, and as i'm ingnoring him, he starts quitely crying and i'm like, "what? what's so sad?" it turns out, he had this Bum enemy of his (actually he's a far away foreigner enemy since i was fat, i was so bored i even recognized his arse hair) silently down and make parts of things down to unlearn me a lesson Yoda said. but then he felt that me being tidy all morning was enough reward so i was air lifted

hmmmm

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lol slylee that reminds me of something i did...

when i was like 9 yrs old i typed out this fake letter to my brother from the Lego company (we were Lego freaks) saying that they were going out of business because of lawsuits... too many children had choked on small pieces and they got sued too many times and they couldn't afford to stay open, so no more legos would be sold. in ADDITION to that, they were coming around to houses to collect Legos because they were too much of a danger so they were sending out a safety task force to destroy all Legos in the world...

lil dude was like 6 years old at the time, he went hysterical, couldn't stop crying!!! i felt so bad but it was fuckin hilarious.


then another time when we were on vacation at a friend's beach house, we were walking up this sand trail that had huge piles of horse shit... so i ran ahead and covered all the piles with sand and i told my brother it was a game where you had to destroy all the hidden bombs under the sand by jumping on them... he took a running jump and slammed his feet down into one, realized what it was, and started crying and screaming at me.


i was soooooo mean to my lil bro... luckily he still loves me.

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+ + + AMBROSIA
lovebirds tracklist archive | vincenzo tracklist archive

quote:

Originally posted by stren

they were probably those rocks that were coated wtih asbestos.

cancer FTL!

I'll just post something I haven't posted before...

Summer and we're a gang out on adventure on our bikes. I lived in the country and this day we really went far away. Anyway finally someone knows a guy who lives around there so we pay him a visit. He shows us a cool place with abandoned cars and stuff.

So we break and enter all the cars, throw rocks on the windows and steal whatever we could find inside. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Next day I got a visit from the car owners. They wanted their stuff back.

I didn't leave my room that day, but I didn't really get any punishment. I've never done anything like it later in my life.

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insignificant cor member alliance

quote:

Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ I better scan this with my bullshit-o-meter... . ...Ok, I have a theory. I belive that what ever comes out of your brain is in fact the complete opposite to what you mean. I will now proceed to translate your scripture: Note: I have only changed some words to their complete opposite meaning so alot of the translation will not make sense... hmmmm

LOL salvador dali here

quote:

Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_

Man...you are one fuckin' weird guy

Let's see, I used to be realy into wrestling when I was a kid. My friend would come over and we had made up names and special moves and even theme songs. I even bought a replica of the WCW heavy weight champ belt and some tag-team belts (we were starting a league ). My little brother always wanted to play but we wouldn't let him because he was way to small, I think like 6 or 7, and we we're all 12 and 13. So yeah we would wrestle and all that dumb shit, slap each other with folders and pillows and pretend they were chairs. We actually manged to destroy my hamper by using it as a weapon, apparantly all our matches were hardcore matches. One day we finally let my brother play with us. We were wrestling or whatever and I when I went to throw him into "the ropes" (the wall, he was just supposed to pretened to bounce back) he never bounced back. Instead he just flew into the wall and ended up dislocating his elbow. If that wasn't bad enough the rumble caused a plate to knock off the mantle in the same room with us and shatter on the tile. My mom came storming upstairs and found my brother crying on the floor against the wall and a few plates smashed. God she must have thought the 4 of us beat the living shit out of him.

Another time my friend and I went egging houses and trucks cuz we were bored. We managed to find out where one of our English teachers lived and egged the hell out of her house and Corvette. We actually found her house, egged it, went the supermarket for more eggs and some TP, came back and egged some more and then TP'd it.

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_bas Man...you are one fuckin' weird guy

quote:

Originally posted by dj_bas Let's see, I used to be realy into wrestling when I was a kid. My friend would come over and we had made up names and special moves and even theme songs. I even bought a replica of the WCW heavy weight champ belt and some tag-team belts (we were starting a league ). My little brother always wanted to play but we wouldn't let him because he was way to small, I think like 6 or 7, and we we're all 12 and 13. So yeah we would wrestle and all that dumb shit, slap each other with folders and pillows and pretend they were chairs. We actually manged to destroy my hamper by using it as a weapon, apparantly all our matches were hardcore matches. One day we finally let my brother play with us. We were wrestling or whatever and I when I went to throw him into "the ropes" (the wall, he was just supposed to pretened to bounce back) he never bounced back. Instead he just flew into the wall and ended up dislocating his elbow. If that wasn't bad enough the rumble caused a plate to knock off the mantle in the same room with us and shatter on the tile. My mom came storming upstairs and found my brother crying on the floor against the wall and a few plates smashed. God she must have thought the 4 of us beat the living shit out of him.

Reminds me of a time my brother locked me out of the house & I screamed at the little shit to let me it. I told him if he didnt let me in in 10 seconds I would kick his arse (which was smart). He didnt open the door so I started pounding the window & it suddenly smashed. Me & my bro were like Before mum got home we strategically placed a cricket ball in the room & blamed the inncident on trajectory physics.

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quote:

Originally posted by lücid lol slylee that reminds me of something i did... when i was like 9 yrs old i typed out this fake letter to my brother from the Lego company (we were Lego freaks) saying that they were going out of business because of lawsuits... too many children had choked on small pieces and they got sued too many times and they couldn't afford to stay open, so no more legos would be sold. in ADDITION to that, they were coming around to houses to collect Legos because they were too much of a danger so they were sending out a safety task force to destroy all Legos in the world... lil dude was like 6 years old at the time, he went hysterical, couldn't stop crying!!! i felt so bad but it was fuckin hilarious. then another time when we were on vacation at a friend's beach house, we were walking up this sand trail that had huge piles of horse shit... so i ran ahead and covered all the piles with sand and i told my brother it was a game where you had to destroy all the hidden bombs under the sand by jumping on them... he took a running jump and slammed his feet down into one, realized what it was, and started crying and screaming at me. i was soooooo mean to my lil bro... luckily he still loves me.

wow i didn't know girls could be so mean. tho i give you props for creativity

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GIGANTIC CUNT

b0p

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insignificant cor member alliance