quote:

Originally posted by Lira

The Lord does not approve of juvenile and sexually allusive humor!

But I do.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles "Self abuser," hehe. Gotta love those wacky fundie terms.

hehe yup!


The worst ones though are the reformed meth or smack heads that run around on the streets slathering, wild eyed and bothering people about god.

"Before I found jebus! I was doing $X00.00 a day of drugs and then I finally felt the love of jebus...."



Be feeling the love of my dainty size 7 in your balls if you get any closer at this point, aside from the fact theres a still an army of you out there stealing car stereos, youre also probably full of a couple of dozen diseases, your brain is obviously been set to 'deep fried' for a few years... get away!!!

Yep, more 'great advice' from the formally chemically dependant

Jesus allegedly saved George W. from alcoholic beverages.

Least if he was drunk now it would expain what he does to the rest of us... mind you I do remember him saying something along the lines of let me look-

here is is
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1007-03.htm

quote:

President George Bush has claimed he was told by God to invade Iraq and attack Osama bin Laden's stronghold of Afghanistan as part of a divine mission to bring peace to the Middle East, security for Israel, and a state for the Palestinians.

God gives crappy advice sometimes...

quote:

President George Bush has claimed he was told by God to invade Iraq and attack Osama bin Laden's stronghold of Afghanistan as part of a divine mission to bring peace to the Middle East, security for Israel, and a state for the Palestinians.

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it's not the pr0n that's the problem it's the perception you make of it.
It is idolatry and objectification which is the root of the evil.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On Here, Jesus, I made this for you. I'll be sure to brandish it everywhere so that people know you were tortured to death just like millions of other people in the history of the world.

25 Smileys per post please Kthanksbye.

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Well, it's better than being obsessed with Christian mythology... d'oh!

quote:

Originally posted by jdat it's not the pr0n that's the problem it's the perception you make of it. It is idolatry and objectification which is the root of the evil.

So I shouldn't idol Nikki Cox?

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quote:

Originally posted by Orbax it actually does ^.^ its one of the 10 commandments lol

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Originally posted by God I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;

you betta recognize, fool!

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Originally posted by God you shall have no other gods before me.

egoistic bastard, isn't he?

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Originally posted by God You shall not make for yourself an image, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

down with the environment!

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Originally posted by God You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me,

you big bully!

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Originally posted by God but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

hasn't he heard of antitrust laws? Jesus!

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Originally posted by God You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

well... i suppose that's it for me, had a good run, but i shouldn't have used the names God and Jesus in a sarcastic and comedic nature. that's it, strike me down now Lord! i shan't even try to plead not-guilty! mercy i shan't even beg for! for i am a sinner. but allow me to leave my parting words: "my name is George Nelson! not Baby Face Nelson!@!!!!!!!!!!!".

quote:

Originally posted by God Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy.

when is that pesky sabbath?

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Originally posted by God Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns.

hey screw you! that deal sucks!

quote:

Originally posted by God For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.

hey, but didn't you just say "You shall not make for yourself an image, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them..."?

and here you are asking me to keep some arbitrary duration of time 'holy' repeatdly?

jeez, i'm only asking for some consistency here, is that so hard?!

quote:

Originally posted by God Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

what exactly does this 'Honor' you speak of constitute?
what if my parents molest me on a daily basis?
what if they're trying to kill me?
what if they're forcing me to...deny you brought me out of the land of egypt, hold other gods but you, make many images of my god/s, bow down and worship them, make wrongful use of your name at least 20 times a day, forget the sabbath, work extra hard on that day, among other things? do i still have to honor them and their bidding then?

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Originally posted by God You shall not murder.

say i'm faced with a man holding a remote control that tells me "i'll kill everything on the earth and beyond if you don't murder me right now", are you absolutely sure i shouldn't murder him?

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Originally posted by God You shall not commit adultery.

nice, try to make up for your own misgivings via your offspring, eh? you did create us in your own image, did you not? hypocrite.

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Originally posted by God You shall not steal.

there's some guy out there with the technology to tilt the earth way out of its orbit thereby taking away our sabbath, are you sure you don't want me to steal it to prevent that from happening?

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Originally posted by God You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

but i know for a fact that that bastard is a child molester doesn't respect his parents! the only way to put him away before anyone else is hurt he disrespects them further is to bear false witness to his actions right now!

quote:

Originally posted by God You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

alright, but only if you won't covet your competitors' shares of the population and our complete attention, deal?


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post scriptum: that was fun

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