Q: How did NASA find out that crew of shuttle Columbia had a dandruff problem?

A: They found their head and shoulders.


A woman is taking a shower and her little girl is in the stall with her. Girl points to her mom's crotch and asks
- Mom, what's that?
- Oh, it's my pubic hair
- Mom, will I have that too?
- Yeah, in about 8 years, when you grow up a bit


Few days later girl is in the shower stall with her dad. She asks him:
- Daddy, what is that between your legs?
- Oh, that's my penis.
- Will I have it?
- Yeah, in about 30 minutes when your mommy leaves for work.


Q: what's the difference between a poodle and Mike Tyson?

A: When Mike Tyson is humping your leg, you let him finish.


Q: What's in common between Michael Jackson and K-Mart?
A: Both have little boys' jeans half-off

Q: What's in common between Michael Jackson and tuna fish?
A: They both come in little cans

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quote:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

--Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith What's the anthem of US Republican party kids? 'O Canada What's got 8 balls and screws grunge rockstars? 12G buckshot.

q: what has 381 eyes, 403 ears and 12 teeth?
A: front row at Willie Nelson concert


q: What's it called when Kate Moss gets a yeast infection?
a: Quarter-pounder with cheese


q: why women's feet are smaller than men's?
a: so that they can stand closer to the oven.


q: What does a battered woman do after coming home from a hospital?
a: She'll do the dishes, if she knows what's good for her!


q: How do you circumcise a redneck?
a: punch his siter in a jaw.


q: why do women fake orgasm?
a: because they think we care.

___________________

quote:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

--Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith What's the anthem of US Republican party kids? 'O Canada What's got 8 balls and screws grunge rockstars? 12G buckshot.

8balls? where?

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

why did the woman cross the road?
...who cares. whyd she leave the kitchen?

why cant women drive?
theres not a road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?
i dont have a corvette in my garage.

___________________
www.illysounds.com

What's the best part about raping a 4 year old?

Wiping the blood off the clown suit.

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quote:

Originally posted by bas What's the best part about raping a 4 year old? Wiping the blood off the clown suit.

Winnar!

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by Idoru I'm cooler than you plus i give better head i swallow

It is easier for a man to destroy the light inside himself
than to defeat the darkness all around him
www.myspace.com/enigmaticecstasy

Why are so many sharks in the Indian Ocean stricken with diarrhea?

They've been eating Thai food all week.

/sick joke

Why did men invent the shopping trolley?
To teach women to stand on their hind legs

Why do women wear white at weddings?
Kitchen appliances are always white.

Why can't blondes water-ski?
When they get their crotch wet they have to lie down

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-~-

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith Three pregnant women were sat in a doctors office waiting for their check-ups and all doing some knitting for their soon-to-arrive babies. The first woman stops knitting and takes a bottle of tablets from her purse, swallows one, and carries on knitting. "What was that?", another woman asks "Vitamin tablet", she replies, "good for me, good for the baby" "Fair enough". The second woman stops knitting and also takes a tablet. "What was that?" "Calcium tablet. Good for me, good for the baby." "Fair enough" The third woman then also stops and takes a tablet. "What was that?" "Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves."

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My Mixes

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night??

A: Hanson.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

THIS THREAD IS MINT

___________________
Soundcloud
MixCrate

quote:

Originally posted by bas What's the best part about raping a 4 year old? Wiping the blood off the clown suit.

That's kinda like

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A Dead baby in a clown suit.



Q: What did Helen Keller Name her dog?
A: arghasdghasrhsdgkl;g

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"I'm not stoned...I'm just Asian!"