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| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
I’ve heard you elaborate on this more, and I understand the usefulness of this concept, but I think too much emphasis is being put on the present moment. From my understanding, you are saying that is better to live in the moment, than dwell on the past, or worry about the future. You are also saying that you should concentrate on the positive things in the present moment, and not dwell on negative things in the past or in the future. It seems that you are suggesting that this is a path to happiness.
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Certain parts of what I am saying are difficult to grasp. Some of it is my fault. When I was writing this declaration, I was in a moment of clarity and wanted to write down a complete version of my thoughts. Because of that I didn't want to stop as I was writing it out of the interest of not losing what it was I was trying to explain.
The clarity may have suffered at times because of it.
In reference to living in the moment. Something that I discuss in the essay is the idea that the idea of living so completely in the moment that nothing matters is perfect in theory, but not in reality, because it would result in you starving to death. Because of that I am arguing that you should aspire to be able to reach that state, even though you recognize no one could truely do it. You need to continually try to get there. If you start 10 feet from the wall and move half way to the wall every 30 seconds when will you get to the wall? Never, but you will keep getting closer and closer. That is what this is like, you are continuing to try to achieve that while still living in the world where it is necessary for you to be impacted by the things that are happening to you.
| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
Let me address each assertion separately. On the upside of “living in the moment”, you are doing something that many others in this day and age fail to do. When you’re in elementary school, you can’t wait to be in high school, when you’re in high school, you can’t wait to be in post-secondary, when you’re in post-secondary, you can’t wait to be in grad-school, when you’re in grad-school, you can’t wait to be done and find a job, when you’ve found the job, you can’t wait until you’ve saved up enough to buy a house, then you can’t wait to get married, then you can’t wait to have kids. Next thing you know, you’re 65. What now?
However, living too much in the moment has serious consequences and disadvantages. For one, I think there is a lot to be said in remembering the past, your history, where you came from, etc. Avoiding the past will cause you to make mistakes that others have already made that could have been easily avoided if you had just taken some time to learn about them. As for the future, if you ignore it and spend all your time enjoying the pleasantries of the present day, you could be unaware of impending trouble that could have been easily avoided if you planned ahead. Furthermore, you could improve “the present day” in the future if you plan for it. To conclude the response to the first assertion, I think the path to happiness lies in an equal emphasis put on each time frame: past, present and future.
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Keeping in mind what I've said about it being impossible to live completely in the moment, and that it is a progress to do that as much as possible, the reverse side of that is that it is also necessary that you do live in the past at some point. This optimism theory is a mix of what would work in a strictly theoretical world, and of how to use that information in the actual world. Learning from your mistakes is certainly a good idea, and should be done. But it also opens you up to dwelling on the events of the past and "crying over spilled milk" which is something you want to avoid. I am arguing that you should try to keep in mind that living in the present is your end goal, and when you get into a situation when you find yourself obsessing over things in the past, remember what you should be doing it and use it as a motivation to forget what it is that you are dwelling about.
In that sense I am agreeing with you, there is a mix of past, present and future, but it is when the past becomes problematic (eg. "I wish that wouldn't have happened to me") that you need to focus on the present.
| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
As for the second assertion, I believe that concentrating only on the positive aspects of the present moment in order to avoid negative emotions associated with painful times in our lives is a dangerous strategy. Accepting bad times for what they are, and dealing with the negative emotions as they come will bode better than brushing those negative emotions under the carpet and thinking happy thoughts. One example is if you are unhappy with something in your life; perhaps a friendship or an intimate relationship. The other person might be doing things or saying things that are bothering you. I have found that it is much more effective to deal with the problems as they come. If you think happy thoughts and forget about what’s bothering you, whatever is bothering you will not go away, and will resurface in a much more significant way in the future. In the example of a problem with a friend or a girl/boyfriend, chances are that the conflicts you have been avoiding along the way are going to end up in one big cumulative argument that has relationship ending potential.
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I think in some part, what I was originally saying is being misinterpreted. I was not saying that you need to ignore the negative aspects of life, but that when a situation presents itself you have the ability to have hope in a positive outcome. This could be after you have had complete realization of all of the negative aspects. A bad situation occurs such as the loss of a loved one, you recognize everything and come up with the thought that you cannot go on. Or you recognize that it will get better, it's ok, it's always ok, and with that confidence begin to move forward progressing in your life maximizing happiness.
| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
So in one concluding retort on the over-arching concept of optimism, and to optimists who accuse me that I complain too much, I will quote one of my friends who has also been afflicted with this unfair accusation, “Seeing the negative side in things is only pointing out the way that those things can be improved.” Although there are many people who are always negative, who don’t look at the positive side of things and are therefore unhappy, unhappiness is not a necessary condition for pointing out the negatives in a situation. Pointing out the negatives is only a path to a higher level of happiness than that of optimists who settle the mediocrity of the way things are. |
I like the idea that pessimism points out things that need to be pointed out to make things better. I do think that we aren't exactly on the same page about what it is that I mean by optimism in reference to this thing specifically. I do not think that you should interpret a bad situation as that it is actually not bad, but instead, when you recognize that something bad has happened, have faith that it will get better. That is what I mean by optimistic, and it is that hope that I think is the true benefit of optimism.
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