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mickeymarley
tranceaddict

Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Ireland
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Re: Question about Sex - seriously.
| quote: | Originally posted by r5a
ok. so. ive been with this girl about two months now. we've been enjoying as it has been very casual and stress-free and it's been working great, no fights or anything like that. shes a very shy and sometimes self-conscious and very little experienced in sexual activities.
anyway, just this week we started fooling around a little bit beyond makeouts and spoonings to 3rd base (hand/head) and she apparently doesn't feel anything. we've only done it twice so far and both times were a fail she claims not to feel anything, literally anything. no pleasure what-so-ever.
I have been trying all sorts of techniques and stuff that have worked on previous exs and sent them into violent shakings, combining hand/head ect. the works. shes even tried to help me find her spots and that doesn't go over to well so im really not sure if it's me being a total suck and should start reading books or her and she has something.
its not like im jumping right into giving her hand/head there is a good solid 30 minutes of pre-game before taking it both ways (pretty intense & soft and gentle makeouts and groping). and we are both in the mood.
at first i thought it was that she was feeling uncomfortable or shy about it or was worried about stuff (she had heard about previous things ive done) so we spent a good hour talking about everything before hand and laughing and being really open about it all to make it less awkward which helped somewhat and i still ask her if shes okay with all of this and she tells me yeah she's fine and not worried/shy about it.
is she simply just not ready for all of this? (keep in mind she has had no experience in this before and is still a virgin, same age as me - 18) or is there something else at play here that i'm not seeing?
please help. shes getting upset and starting to think there is something wrong with her, while i have to assure her its not her and probably me and i suck goat dick. |
Hi friend, first of all dont listen too much to the negative comments that you receive on these boards. Unfortunately a lot of these guys have a shitty life and they think they look cool posting smart arse comments that may cause a giggle. admittedly I giggle sometimes, anywayyyy!!!
In your lady friends case its probably just psychological, the power of the mind, its a wonderful thing when used to be postive, when used to be negative its just destructive. So basically its pressure to perform on your lady friends part, what you are doing is right, have some fun, make her relaxed, have a laugh about things and what your doing.
What you talked about and what she has heard about your past is just contributing to her pressure and probably making her feel less comfortable.
My advise is to stick with it, be open, have fun and talk to her, hopefully things work out for you. If you need someone to talk to pm me, but as my motto is "Dont give up", I fell you should do the same, dont give up, my fiance was similar, she knew I had a past of trying to hump every moving women, she was shy,quiet etc. Shes now the mother of my daughter and I wouldnt change a thing for the world.
Again pm me if you need sensible advise, goodluck mate.
Ps :And fair play to you coming on here to ask for advise 
Last edited by mickeymarley on Jun-01-2008 at 00:54
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Jun-01-2008 00:46
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kadomony
FRENCH EXPRESS

Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Philly
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Jun-01-2008 00:49
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Halcyon+On+On
Liebchen

Registered: Sep 2004
Location: midcoast
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| quote: | Originally posted by L.E.N.
Damn!... yup, there is no way you can say " I understand" to shit like that. I look at them as damaged goods because there is nothing you can do to get them "normal". It sounds cold as fuck but its the truth, those kinda girls are so chaotic that its not worth trying. Im sure there are a few exeptions but its very rare. |
Exactly. Part of me wishes I could truly empathize with her, but the other, sensible, part realizes that she has gone through what must have been through one of the most difficult things a child can ever endure. And on top of that, she was with me fresh from a broken-up engagement in which she moved from the other side of the country after losing/being betrayed by all of her closest friends. I don't believe in fate really, but some cosmic, universal force sent her to me so that we could never, ever be together. 
Ah well.
Oh right. Sex. Just keep at it. You're both young and inexperienced. Keep exploring with her, don't worry too much about it being a "mental game", though it is, it's just that worry will only cloud your ability to enjoy it, and that may very well be what is making her inhibited. Unless she has a specific reason, I would be very doubtful that she cannot physically "feel" what is happening down there. Then again, some people just don't fit each other sexually. It's odd, no matter how attractive you are, social attraction is an imagined thing, the actual, sexual attraction between people is something that is fundamentally uncontrollable, if you ask me.
___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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Jun-01-2008 01:20
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spc
somebody call the doctor

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: NJ
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Jun-01-2008 01:48
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