quote:

Originally posted by Sandsider ...playing outdoors...

You know, I keep hearing these annoying kids on my street playing ball outside and I always think to myself; "don't these kids have internet"?

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quote:

Originally posted by Project-K I think the funniest experience I had there was arguing with a 20-something mac "fan" while trying to explain to him that a DVI to VGA adaptor would not give him a DVI quality picture, as he threatened to go to another store and buy one that would.

oh I hate idiots like that,and I deal with them everyday

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quote:

Originally posted by gehzumteufel Why do they even bother buying them? They are so fucking clueless on how to use them, let alone try to troubleshoot them over the phone with a tech support rep! I just got off the phone with an old bitch. Below is a short transcript of the call. Me: Please type C, as in charlie, M, as in mary, and D, as in david. her: ok me: so what came up? her: I typed "seasonmd" liek you asked me to. me: please change that to "c as in charlie, m as in mary, d as in david". ok now what came up? her: I typed "C as in charliemd" as you asked. Thanks fucking hell she disconnected somehow lol. /rant

its highly possible this woman had a hearing loss. you would've probably had an easier time just saying the letter in this case. Also, your sentence seems to be a little long for an elderly person.

quote:

Originally posted by Project-K You know, I keep hearing these annoying kids on my street playing ball outside and I always think to myself; "don't these kids have internet"?

I lol'd.

Also, I dislike the ones that are unwilling to learn and complain the slightest thing yet insist on using the damn computer.

quote:

Originally posted by Project-K You know, I keep hearing these annoying kids on my street playing ball outside and I always think to myself; "don't these kids have internet"?

See, that's just what I mean...a verbal 'happy-slap'. You young'uns tsk.

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Got my self one of those Anti-Bullying wristbands.....stole it from a fat kid.x

I love it when my old folks double click on hyperlinks, such a cheap laugh.

Enjoying your new job gezheutettshnshjddhmhhdbdhfel?

These will cheer you up:
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Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on start for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least:

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!! TECH SUPPORT

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: " Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer: "No..."
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Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" Tech Support: ?!%#$=20
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Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." Customer: "How do you spell that?"
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Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?" Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service) Tech Support: "Well then we can't-" Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'." Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-" Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through." Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me." Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?" Customer:" Pentium."
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Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?" Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Customer: "How do I know when it's ready ?

worked for a year for a large isp in sweden..

some old fudger called in yelling that he couldn't connect the tp cable to his comp. he had some 18 year old macintosh that of course lacked a network interface card. he wanted us to send out support technicians to install a nic, and also a wireless one. he wasn't ready to upgrade to a newer comp yet, he said.

i also had an old lady call in, frustrated because she couldn't log on to her internet bank. she typed in her details but the bank told her she had the wrong password. somehow, her internet service provider must be behind this..

one of the worst calls i ever got was some young guy calling because he couldn't log on to windows. he tried typing the isp's details in the windows log on screen. tried explaining this to him for 15 minutes, until i gave him the number to microsoft. i later saw in logs that he called in the day after and asked the same thing.

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quote:

Originally posted by Lilith ...and so it begins Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Haha dammit! You beat me to it. I.T crowd ftw

You guys love it really. This is probably the only point about being a computer technician i do NOT miss.

Old clueless farts are just the beginning of it, Then comes the abusive customers who throw computer components at you when they can't figure them out.

The customers who lie straight to your face. Say they haven't tampered with the insides of there PC to void warranty. Then you look at there PC and it stands out like dogs balls that they have.

The ones who leave there PC with you, But a friend drops it off for them.. Then you find animal pr0n posted all over Internet History files.

The customers who have kids, who decide that whilst daddy is out.. They will pull the computer the peices and start playing with things they were told would make the computer 'faster'.

But still, My favourite case of all..

Opening a non-functioning PC.. only to find it has NEVER been cleaned.. And there are now everything from walking talking balls of Dust, to spiders, mice, and cocheroaches running around inside it.

Ah.. i miss it so much.

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You know what it all boils down to?

People are too stupid/lazy to read. Most things with technology can be accomplished if you just read the screen and make the most logical decision.

I do tech for Alltel/Verizon and it's just stupid shit. When trying to activate someone's phone and it says, "Start Activation? [Yes] [No]," they'll ask if you if they should hit yes.

I think my job is making me depressed just because these people are the majority.

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Originally posted by Fl@k Monkey Haha dammit! You beat me to it. I.T crowd ftw

Do they still make that show? It's been ages since I saw it on the telly.

Sadly, gehzumfuzzle isn't nearly as funny

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Originally posted by Lilith Do they still make that show? It's been ages since I saw it on the telly. Sadly, gehzumfuzzle isn't nearly as funny

They only made a few episodes, Stopped.. Then recently released a few more Google around for them.. They aired on Foxtel/Optus a month or so ago.

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