quote:

Originally posted by bARTovsky What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you fucking racist.

bahahaha! i love that one, i used to tell it when i first heard it.

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

A_man_wearing_a_balaclava_bursts_into_a_sperm_bank_with_a_shot_gun._‘Open_the_f*****g_safe!’_he_yells_at_the_girl_behind_the_counter._
‘But_we're_not_a_real_bank’_replies_the_girl._‘This_is_a_sperm_bank,_we_don't_hold_money’._
‘Don't_argue_just_open_the_safe_or_I'll_blow_your_f*****g_head_off!’_
She_obliges_and_opens_the_safe_door._
‘Take_one_of_the_bottles_and_drink_it!’_‘But_it's_full_of_sperm’_the_girl_replies_nervously.__‘Don't_argue,_just_drink_it’_he_says._
She_prises_off_the_cap_and_gulps_it_down.__‘Take_out_another_one_and_drink_it_too!’_he_demands._The_girl_drinks_another_one._Suddenly_the_guy_pulls_off_the_balaclava_and_to_the_girl's_amazement_it's_her_husband_...
‘Not_that_f*****g_difficult,_is_it?’_he_says.

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

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There was an African king who lived in a beautiful castle made of grass. In that house was his prize possession, a golden throne. One day, he got word that the neighboring king was planning to invade and steal the throne. The king decided to hide the throne in the attic. As luck would have it, the ceiling collapsed under the weight and the throne hit the king on the head and killed him. Moral? People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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www.misterfalconmusic.com

u guys suck at telling jokes

quote:

Originally posted by kadomony There was an African king who lived in a beautiful castle made of grass. In that house was his prize possession, a golden throne. One day, he got word that the neighboring king was planning to invade and steal the throne. The king decided to hide the throne in the attic. As luck would have it, the ceiling collapsed under the weight and the throne hit the king on the head and killed him. Moral? People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

I like that one

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quote:

Originally posted by Cloudburst What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? -See you next month.

I was just waiting for this one.

That is absolutely disgusting. I mean honestly, are you a virgin? (or close to?). It is absolutely foul, I don't think anyone would go near rag even if they were a starving vampire.

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