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| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Homeless has such a negative connotation... I prefer to think of them as "outdoorsy" |
the city even compiles a list because they are an attraction.
| quote: | BEST MONTREAL WEIRDO
1. Hollywood (the Banana Man)
2. Spider-Man
3. Spoonman
4. One Armed Guy metro Guy aka Stumpy
5. Mado
6. Carey Tauben
7. Tricycle biker
8. Jean Leloup
9. Mike the Parc Ave. bum who hangs around the
PA with a keyboard and mutters to himself
10. Elvis Italiano
Honourable mentions: Gérald Tremblay • Maysr •
Tony Ezzy • Stephen Shellenberger
The best thing about this category isn’t the variety, necessarily—Hollywood, Spidey and Spoonman hang on to the top three spots as they did last year—but your descriptions of your favourite oddballs. Here are some:
Mimick Man 3:30 train • Old man on St-V • Speedy Gonzales (at the Mont-Royal metro) • Spitter • The Richard • the Urban Cowboy • “Beer Fund” Beggar • “I just need 50 cents” guy • “Pour manger....” dude at Place d’Armes • “Salesman” on Prince Arthur and St-Laurent in pink spandex • One-armed hairy beggar • One-armed wonder of Guy Station • $1 for a smile homeless guy • 24-hr paperboy at Outremont metro • All the punks with face tattoos • Bum that yells at me • Anthony the Greek • Autistic blind metro singers • Badass Santa Claus tricycle man • Bag foot guy • Barbershop singing dude • Baxter (local downtown bum on drums) • Big fat black guy at Snowdon metro (when I worked at the grocery store, he’d always come in to buy cat food with VHS porn sticking out of his coat pockets) • Blind singer in the metro that sounds like a woman (and his family) • Bulgy-eyed black woman at Berri-UQÀM • Charlie in the Village • Cigarette Cigarette! • Clone de Jimi Hendrix • Crack Head Jesse • Drone synthesizer busker • Fancy lady on St-Viateur • Folle avec un sac de plastique sur le pied et un turban sur la tête. Vue souvent au métro Beaubien • Fort St. crackheads • Free hugs guy • Ghost Bum (aka Nick Nolte) • Gilligan’s Island metro performer • Guy that says hello in 100 languages for money • Guy who reads the encyclopedia while walking with the high socks downtown • Guy with the white cat on a leash in the Village • Homeless guy who asks for money to buy Beer and Steak • Homeless Inuit gang in the McGill ghetto • Italian Violin Metro Busker • James Brown looking guy • Leroy the Happy Wanderer • Lizard man on St-Laurent • Lord Stinkinbeggar • LSD Man • Mark the one-wheeled basket man • Marilyn Monroe (crazy old drunken man) on St-Viateur • Michel—homeless dude in Crescent alley • Mike (homeless guy who lives on the mountain) • Naked dude with a spear with a tennis ball on it—see him at Carré St-Louis in the summer • NDG Bottle Man • Often-shirtless Dancing Old Guy near Eaton Centre • Old dancing man downtown • Old guy with long white hair who begs downtown • Old Port hugger guy • Pamphlet waver, corner of Pins and St-Laurent • Phil the pigeon livered metro geek • Philippe the human kiosk man • Pimp dude on Parc and St- Joseph • Pimp guy (Plateau) • Poète quèteux • Pothead in Ville St-Laurent always trying to sell you weed • Shirtless guy, Mile End • Shirtless old guy who mumbles and sings, with open arms, mostly on St-Viateur near Clark • Simon the Mile-End Hipster • Singing bus driver • Singing homeless man on Peel and Ste-Catherine • Souvlaki George • St-Laurent flute lady • That crazy old man that hangs out on St-Denis, the really flexible one • That guy at Square Victoria metro that says “Bonjour Montréal” with his guitar • That guy next to me on the bus/metro • That guy who air guitars to Jimi Hendrix in the Plateau • That guy who smokes crack, jumps in front of you in the sidewalk and yells “GOT MONEY!?!?” at you to get your attention • That really animated panhandler on the corner of St-Denis & Mont-Royal—he speaks French now! • The 211 Headbanger • The black guy that rides the bus on Parc, that is often wearing extravagantly coloured outfits with feathers in his hat and some style of snake boots • The cabbie magician • The clown who give comic books to everybody • The Concordia hobo with tattoos on his face • The Decarie Screamer • The designer with huge black glasses • The dog guy • The dude who makes beats at the corner of Mont-Royal and St-Laurent until he gets dismissed by cops for disturbing the peace. I love him. • The dude who wears the pedophile glasses, with long blond hair—John • The French bum that is seen either playing with his own spit in the metros or running around town yelling for his pet chicken • The guy that looks like Moses in Villeray • The guy who has a canoe on his bike • The guy who lives in the basement and looks like he’s taken enough acid to kill a zoo full of elephants • The guy who rubs himself down with soil only to wash it off at the nearest water fountain • The guy who sings at the Metcalfe exit at Peel everyday • The guy who walks on St-Denis and looks like a Teletubby • The guy with a skeleton tattoo on his head • The guy with the Cirque du Soleil jacket that barks at people on the streets • The guy with tin foil coming out of his ears & nose • The homeless guy in Atwater who has a blog • The kosher butcher at Loblaws • The man who carries a chihuahua to impress ladies at Starbucks on Laurier • The man who plays flute with his nose in the metro (one flute per nostril) • The man who wears a dress in Jarry Park • The old smiling men on St-Viateur in Hawaiian shorts • The psycho that screams in your face “CAN I HAVE 75¢!!!” • The Tri-flutist in the metro but I think he died... RIP • The Village street person who shits in front of Tim Horton’s • Trans- Hat-Boa dude/lady at Prince Arthur & St-Laurent • Two-colour hair dude with no shirt always walking and over-tanned • Walrus man |
a visit to the city should always consist of a game of homeless scavenger hunt. People have actually done it. Not only is it really fun, but mental illness spares the need for anyone to feel humiliated making you a missionary of sorts.
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