quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Please tell me you're writing a book. I want to read it. Readingly.

I will be dadding that book, so hard.

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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

When I came back to I was sprawled out under that post yonder, behind the Chevron, still in the book. The pages had the texture of leaves, greenish like the thinning rim of your irises, right before I realized the swelling black holes of your pupils were literal. The gravity of the situation! Sinking and taking goddamned everything with it. And it even appears that time had the audacity to stop right before I got sucked in (don't believe it); it is during this hiatus that I write to you, my dearest hard-dadding taddy, in this fading light. Stuck at the bottom of this hole, I can do nothing but look up, eh? Looking inward (whichever direction it went), I can still see the shards, of this book of glass, which had sliced my mind into the shapes of hexes. But all the new perspective let me see my neurons inside-out, collectively aware, flaring how stars can do. All in addition to being the Queen of the Night. I can't seem to move, so my fluids will drizzle as they will. It is will that I am. Everything is OK. K: my affirmation, infinite, & yes. Lord K.

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When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again: I would have none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ RANN I can easily do two bottles of wine a night without even thinking about it and that's on weeknights. No hangover or side effects, so don't stress about that one.

I never get hangovers either but there are concerns for your overall health, read this the other day

http://www.newswise.com/articles/he...nxiety-problems

quote:

Originally posted by Intellekshual I read a book recently (by Bill Clegg, who was a crack addict). The drug messes with the most basic biological drives.. the brain comes to associate it with the fundamentals of just being alive. The brain says, "You need water, you're terribly thirsty...get crack NOW or you will DIE." Quitting crack is, apparently, very much like starving to death and dying of thirst at the same time, for ages. (weeks? I'm not sure how long the detox takes.)

Same as meth, that is the one that really scares me I will not associate with people who do it

i stopped drinking as i found it was impossible to work the hours i was doing. I mean i say stop, it isn't some big decision, i just don't drink because i think ah shit , tomorrow , have this much work. But last week, i was drinking the most benign drink on the planet , gin and tonic and 4 drinks make me sick.

I've never had friends that did drugs so every time i've ever done something hard, it has always been a one off. I've smoked crack about 5 times usually rappers , and i found it much more calming than snorting coke. But the only way I could be convinced to do any drug is with alcohol which is my gateway drug. I did find the people that did it were really how do you say fixated on the drug and not the atmosphere like say when you have a beer. You have a beer and everyone is a little chattier but these people just seemed so transfixed by the process, how much is left, how much longer can they go for, who is going to get more.

I suppose in some way i'm a hypocrite when it comes to that. Anyone that does drugs, I just assume they are on their way down and although i might be there then and there, i try not to develop any friendships that revolve around drugs or the people if they are really into them. Sometimes, business doesn't really offer you a choice but I wouldn't allow it at my place or even have people over that did that sort of stuff.

dopamine tampering isn't that hard to bounce back to where your system was when you were not an addict. Most of the damage comes from lack of sleep, not eating right , and dehydration. Crack , meth, addictive in a psychological manner are not physically addictive in that you won't get sick if you don't do it, You will just be real tired , probably sleep for a few weeks and you will be depressed for a while. Your body doesn't require it unlike say an nice sexy opiate addiction. Not saying it is easy to quit. Ironically, if you have access to pharmaceutical grade opium, you can pretty much do it for a real long time without any really bad negative side effects. My sister is that person that administers pain killers at a hospital, anesthetist in Canada, and she talks about terminal cancer patients taking so much that it would kill the average person but their bodies are used to and they have a supply that isn't adulterated. But it isn't like anyone really has that luxury.

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"This is why Superman works alone." GC
old stuff from days gone by (2001-2004)
Mad For Brad's gay little contest

Last edited by Looney4Clooney on Sep-05-2012 at 06:25

quote:

Originally posted by Looney4Clooney Crack , meth, addictive in a psychological manner are not physically addictive

Despite how much I enjoy your posts, you are absolutely wrong in the above ^^

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I suppose It depends on wether you consider rebound syndrome a part of physical depends. I am pretty sure scientist make that distinction. Typically, the onethat are physically addictive are the ones you should not stop cold turkey. You can stop any stimulant cold turkey and as ahitty as you feel, your body is not in danger of having stroke.

___________________
"This is why Superman works alone." GC
old stuff from days gone by (2001-2004)
Mad For Brad's gay little contest

quote:

Originally posted by Looney4Clooney I suppose It depends on wether you consider rebound syndrome a part of physical depends. I am pretty sure scientist make that distinction. Typically, the onethat are physically addictive are the ones you should not stop cold turkey. You can stop any stimulant cold turkey and as ahitty as you feel, your body is not in danger of having stroke.

Don't distract me with your prose. Meth and crack are not physically addictive? What?

Educate me.

I'm going to need some pretty good evidence for this one

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Thanks everyone. awesome reponse. I did live in San Francisco, I moved there from here to get away from this very thing, got caught drinking wine at work as was fired. It's Las Cruces, NM, actually. So yeah, bordertown. I rarely, rarely do hard drugs like this. I haven't even touched ecstasy in nearly a year, I was just in a situation where I was drunk and it would be a further escape. But like Rann was saying, when you are just with people and the only common factor is that you're doing drugs, those aren't friends... those are people who will feed into your own negativity. And like someone else mentioned, I am missing something. I don't know what it is, it's just a personal inner void. I do have dead parents and used to black out on alcohol quite a bit, but after my last major freakout on alcohol July 4th I almost got into some legal trouble, and since then I haven't blacked out or done anything stupid while drunk. Plus, after losing my job in San Francisco and basically having to give up on living there, something happened and now I kind of have my shit together when I drink, but I also started going to AA and that scared the shit out of me even more.

I don't hang out with my K friends very much. And I meant that when I'm on K, it's so disassociative that I have no idea what's going on. And finally someone mentioned I need a real job. I do. Right out of high school I got a job as a technician at a small internet company and worked in an intimate team environment that gave me a lot of joy and pride, and since then I've not really worked, was on unemployment for 2 years just to get free money and was a raging bitch. I even got fucked up and broke my first pair of nice monitors.

Basically, if I'm in an environment where people are doing these kinds of drugs, I'm in the WRONG place. I have never been into hard drugs. My personality is already eccentric and people like me without drugs. I just need to take it a day at a time, and appreciate the fact that my life isn't that bad. I'm getting kick ass at production, thanks in part to this forum (started here at 17, 25 next month), shit isn't that bad. I probably just need to stop being such a selfish asshole.

For what it's worth, many of the issues you've listed above were part of my personal reasons for quitting drinking, altogether. I'll have ten years, alcohol free, on September 17th. I don't think quitting booze has necessarily made me a better person but it does make being me a little more manageable. Vitriolic, emotionally-tinged fights with my girlfriend, while drunk, are now very tempered dull discussions aimed at reaching a solution both of us are happy with. Not being hung-over in ten years is the absolute shit, though.

___________________

Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

everything in moderation, including moderation

___________________
Fortuna Favet Fortibus.

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker For what it's worth, many of the issues you've listed above were part of my personal reasons for quitting drinking, altogether. I'll have ten years, alcohol free, on September 17th. I don't think quitting booze has necessarily made me a better person but it does make being me a little more manageable. Vitriolic, emotionally-tinged fights with my girlfriend, while drunk, are now very tempered dull discussions aimed at reaching a solution both of us are happy with. Not being hung-over in ten years is the absolute shit, though.

Congrats

quote:

Originally posted by Evolve140 Thanks everyone. awesome reponse. I did live in San Francisco, I moved there from here to get away from this very thing, got caught drinking wine at work as was fired. It's Las Cruces, NM, actually. So yeah, bordertown. I rarely, rarely do hard drugs like this. I haven't even touched ecstasy in nearly a year, I was just in a situation where I was drunk and it would be a further escape. But like Rann was saying, when you are just with people and the only common factor is that you're doing drugs, those aren't friends... those are people who will feed into your own negativity. And like someone else mentioned, I am missing something. I don't know what it is, it's just a personal inner void. I do have dead parents and used to black out on alcohol quite a bit, but after my last major freakout on alcohol July 4th I almost got into some legal trouble, and since then I haven't blacked out or done anything stupid while drunk. Plus, after losing my job in San Francisco and basically having to give up on living there, something happened and now I kind of have my shit together when I drink, but I also started going to AA and that scared the shit out of me even more. I don't hang out with my K friends very much. And I meant that when I'm on K, it's so disassociative that I have no idea what's going on. And finally someone mentioned I need a real job. I do. Right out of high school I got a job as a technician at a small internet company and worked in an intimate team environment that gave me a lot of joy and pride, and since then I've not really worked, was on unemployment for 2 years just to get free money and was a raging bitch. I even got fucked up and broke my first pair of nice monitors. Basically, if I'm in an environment where people are doing these kinds of drugs, I'm in the WRONG place. I have never been into hard drugs. My personality is already eccentric and people like me without drugs. I just need to take it a day at a time, and appreciate the fact that my life isn't that bad. I'm getting kick ass at production, thanks in part to this forum (started here at 17, 25 next month), shit isn't that bad. I probably just need to stop being such a selfish asshole.

Glad to hear that you've got somewhat a handle on it. You certainly have been through some shit and I've also dealt with close family deaths so I know it can be rough, but from what I can read, although you;re struggling, it sounds like, you're on the right path.

Fuck AA. Seriously.

I cannot tell you how many friends/people I know who have gone to AA (some shortly, some for over 25 years) and personally, I think it's absolutely terrible; it's nothing more than swapping one addiction (alcohol) for another (social dependency). Every single person I know who has been to AA isn't "cured" - they all are terrified of being in the same room as a drink and heave to make a beeline for the nearest meeting if they even think about alcohol. That's not control or independence, and that's heavily supported by the numbers of people who relapse incredibly badly after years of AA "support". All AA does is ban you from the substance. The root isn't taken away or solved, just the symptoms transferred to another form. I all for talking about what issues you have with people that understand you and have been what you're going through but AA is band aid over a wound that won't heal by itself.

My best advice is to get a real job and try to stabilize your personal life. May be boring at first, but new challenges are the best thing to fill any void.

quote:

Originally posted by EZ For what it's worth, many of the issues you've listed above were part of my personal reasons for quitting drinking, altogether. I'll have ten years, alcohol free, on September 17th. I don't think quitting booze has necessarily made me a better person but it does make being me a little more manageable. Vitriolic, emotionally-tinged fights with my girlfriend, while drunk, are now very tempered dull discussions aimed at reaching a solution both of us are happy with. Not being hung-over in ten years is the absolute shit, though.

Congrats Eddie. That's quite the milestone and you should be proud of the self discipline.