Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels

Right, let?s sort the buyers from the spyers,
the needy from the greedy,
and those who trust me
from the ones who don?t.
Cause if you can?t see value here today,
you?re not up here shopping,
You?re up here shoplifting.
You see these goods?
Never seen daylight, moonlight,
Israelites, Fanny by the gaslight.
Take a bag, come on, take a bag.
I took a bag home last night -
cost me a lot more than ten pound,
I can tell you.
Anyone like jewellery?
Look at that one there.
Hand-made in Italy,
hand-stolen in Stepney.
It?s as long as my arm,
I wish it was as long as something else.
Don?t think ?cos these boxes are sealed up, they?re empty.
The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker.
And by the look of some of you lot here today,
I?d make more money with me measuring tape.
Here one price, ten pound.

- Did you say ten pound?

Are you deaf?

- That?s a bargain. I?ll take one.

Squeeze in if you can.
Left leg, right leg. Your body will follow.
They call it walking.

Austin Powers International Man of Mystery:

Austin Powers: Farts in the hottub
Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me!
Austin: I'm sorry baby, I didn't know it was your turn!


The Jackal:

Bruce Willis (to Jack Black): Run!
Jack Black: muffled groans while running through swamp
Bruce Willis: Stop, Turn Around
Jack Black: more frightened groaning
Bruce Willis: Hold up that pack of cigarettes!
Jack Black: Holds up pack of cigarettes
Bruce Willis: Stand still!
Bruce Willis: Presses FIRE on gatling gun
Automatic sighting is off, target was to be the pack of cigarettes being held up but instead tears off Jack Black's arm
Bruce Willis: Told you it was off... (the automatic sighting)

Billy Madison:

Adam Sandler: There's something important I was supposed to do today.
Artie: Have 5 Daiquiris?
Norm MacDonald: No you remembered to do that.
Adam Sandler: What day is today?
Norm MacDonald: Uh, October?
Adam Sandler: It's nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!

Adam Sandler: Shampoo is bettah!
: No, conditionah is bettah!
: Oh really fool?!
: Really!
Slams shampoo bottles together and drops them in the tub
Adam Sandler: Stop looking at me Swan!


Road Trip

Kyle (geeky kid): You guys wanna smoke some drugs?


Bulletproof

Adam Sander: I got piss on me!

___________________
"I feel like Elton John in this muthafucka." -Ol' Dirty Bastard, to the audience of his first show since being released from prison

All you mother******s are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

___________________
"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes"

Snatch...

Avi: Fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins London!

___________________

Top 5:
1. R-Tem - Voiceless
2. New Order - Jetstream (Tom Neville Remix)
3. Pillow One - Ministry Of Love
4. Pulser - Point of Impact (Mike Koglin Remix)
5. Armin Van Buuren - Shivers (Christian Webber Mix)

yea i was just gonna say, anyone who liked snatch make sure you see lock stock and two smoking barrels also

quote:

Originally posted by SpykeChyld Fight Club: Norton:"Still can't think of anything" Pitt:"Ahh, Flashback humor"...I mean, come on, WTF, thats fuckin genious.

crap, i just realized what that quote really means... damn, i could quote fight club for hours, i red the script like 10 times, and still, there are so many new things i constantly find in it...


i watched snatch & LSATSB within 4 days of each other... hilarious


Snatch:

SOL: What's that?
VINCENT: This is a shotgun, Sol.
SOL: It's a fucking antiaircraft gun, Vincent!

I fooking hate spikeys!

LSATSB: Just one more thing. It's been emotional

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by cUbe suck suck ten dollar

That would be, "Sucky sucky, ten dolla...me love you long time...me soooo horny..."

___________________
"...End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...one that we all must take.
The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass...and then you see it...
...white shores...and beyond...the far green country under a swift sunrise."

Platoon:

"GOODBYE MOTHER******S"

"XIN LOI MY MAN"

Hard Target:

Jean Claude Van Damme: You wouldnt want to HURT my feelings

Catch me if you can:

"Knock Knock"

whos there

....go Fuck Yourself

I could think of more but i cant think right now LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Fir3start3r That would be, "Sucky sucky, ten dolla...me love you long time...me soooo horny..."

DaMNN you i was gonna write that

....thats from FULL METAL JACKET i assume?

Platoon:

"GOODBYE MOTHER******S"

"XIN LOI MY MAN"

Hard Target:

Jean Claude Van Damme: You wouldnt want to HURT my feelings

Catch me if you can:

"Knock Knock"

whos there

....go Fuck Yourself

Scarface:

"I neva fucked anybody over in my life, who didn't have it comin' to 'im, you got that? All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don't break 'em for no one, jou understand?" (Tony to Sosa)

"Fuck Gaspar Gomez, and fuck the fuckin' Diaz brothers! Fuck'em all! I bury those cock-a-roaches!" (Tony to Frank)

"Say goodnight to the bad guy"

"I'm Tony Montana! You fuck wit me, you fuckin' wit da best!"

"Say 'ello to my little friend!"

"Now what is your problem, lady? Eh, you gotta problem? You're good looking, you gotta beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face; wit all dese guys in love wit you, mein; only you gotta look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year" / "Hey, Jose; who, why, when, and how I fuck is none of your business, okay?" / "Now jou're talking to me, baby; that I like, okay, keep it coming, baby" / "Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby" / "Eh, not yet, you gotta give me some time" / "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever fuck"

I could think of more but i cant think right now LOL

"I'd fuck Elvis. When he was alive I mean, not now." - True Romance

"Ofcourse I'd have another shot. I had work to do." - Trainspotting

Chaka: Listen, Fucky...
Banky Edwards: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it's Fucky.

[contemplating whether to pull his dick out to Justice]
Devil Jay: [appears on his shoulder] What the fuck are you waiting for?! She went for the set up, just reach in and pull your dick out!
[a second devil pops in on Jay's other shoulder]
Devil Jay 2: All right, now here's where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out. But we BITCH slapped that mother****** and sent him packin'! So it's smooth sailin' from here. Let 'er rip, boy.

Willenholly: Wow! That was just an incredibly daring escape!

Pumpkin Escobar: I don't know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touch a brother's heart.

Jason Biggs: Don't you recognize me? I'm the pie ******!
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: In prison, you'll be the pie.

Tricia Jones: Why didn't he option that comic about your "relationship?"
Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy?" That would never work as a movie.

Jay: All you mother******s are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

___________________
'That's like telling a Kodiak bear to stop fcking older men.'