The one Dmatrox couldn't read is in Norwegian,I'll translate it.This one is just about a very dumb girl and a guy getting severely worked up over it,not cybersex:

Hey what's your stance on random sex
it's sitting down
you're blonde
where are you from?
blonde,what does that mean?
bright hair
oh
no
where are you from?
from the east
where in the east,Tegnog,tell me
hehe
Tegnog? no not from that place
Yeah,where is that?
I dunno, you're the one who said it
Ok,so where are you from then?
from the east
But for fuck sake,WHERE IN THE EAST is this blonde girl from??!?!?!?!!?
It can't be possible to be as dumb as you!!!
your IQ is like your shoesize divided by 10!!!!
oh
I'm not blonde though
=0!!!!!!!!
you're still fucking stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but where the hell in the east are you located
yes
do you?
where in the east do you live!!!!!!!!Larvik??Sandefjord,Porsgrunn
????
no
where
where
where
where
where
????
????
????
????
yes
where in Norway do you live,where in the east???
where in Norway do you live,where in the east???
Not far from Oslo
asker
oh yeah
I knew it,smoking weed causes brain damage,and you're a textbook example of that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTE:the guy has more and more typos as he gets more and more worked up,but I didn't include them.

And this one is just nonsense:

cybersex?
having it?
what
no
right
what?
yeah
hehe
fuck you
bye!!!!!!!
bye!!!!!!!
bye!!!!!!!
ok?

___________________
"Wenn du dich zum Untergrund zählst, reicht es nicht, es nur zu sagen. Du musst auch viel graben, um es zu werden."

Haunted, is this your work??

LOL!! cause whoever made this ownz!!

Soooo funny. I've read those awhile ago on another forum, it was said most of them were set-up beforehand.

But still hilarious.

My favourite:

Girl: Hi

Boy: hello

Boy: who is this?

Girl: just a someone?

Boy: A someone I know?

Girl: nope

Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

Girl: well sorrrrrry

Girl: I just wanted to chat with you

Boy: why?

Girl: nevermind your an asshole

Boy: Hey wait a minute

Girl: yes?

Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

Girl: paranoid?

Boy: yes

Girl: of what?

Girl: me?

Boy: No. I'm in hiding.

Girl: LOL

Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!

Boy: This shit is serious!

Girl: What are you hiding from?

Boy: The cops.

Girl: gimme a fucking break

Boy: I'm serious.

Girl: I don't get it

Boy: The cops are after me.

Girl: For what?

Boy: I'm wanted in three states

Girl: For???

Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.

Boy: I had sex with a turkey.

Boy: Hello?

Girl: You are fucking sick.

Boy: Send me your picture.

Girl: why?

Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.

Girl: One of what?

Boy: The cops.

Girl: I'm not a cop i told you

Boy: Then send me your picture.

Girl: hold on

Boy: Hurry up.

Boy: Are you there?

Boy: fuck you, cop!

Girl: Hey sorry

Girl: I had to do something for my mom.

Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Boy: Weren't you!?

Girl: thats not it

Boy: Then what?

Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

Boy: Most cops aren't

Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!

Boy: Then send me the picture.

Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?

Boy: Just send it through here.

Girl: alright *PIC*

Girl: Did you get it?

Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.

Girl: That was me back in may

Girl: I've lost weight since then.

Boy: I hope so

Girl: what?!?

Girl: that hurt my feelings.

Boy: Did it?

Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

Girl: yes

Boy: Alright let me find it.

Girl: kks

Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*

Girl: this isn't you.

Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!

Girl: You don't look like that.

Boy: How the hell do you know?

Girl: cause your profile has another picture.

Boy: The profile pic is a fake.

Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.

Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.

Girl: Go fuck yourself

Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture

Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.

Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.

Girl: you hurt me.

Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!

Boy: Why would I do that?

Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you

Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

Girl: FUC YOU!!!

Boy: You'd break both of his legs.

Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.

Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.

Girl: No you aren't

Boy: You're right. I'm not.

Boy: HAARRRRR!

Girl: I'm done with you

Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.

Girl: I'm putting you on ignore

Boy: Wait a sec

Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.

Boy: Wanna start over?

Girl: No

Boy: I'll eat your pussy

Girl: You'll what?

Boy: You heard me.

Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.

Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?

Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Boy: Well I'm not like most men.

Boy: I get excited in different ways.

Girl: Like what?

Boy: Do you really wanna know?

Girl: I don't know

Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.

Girl: I'm afraid to

Boy: Why?

Girl: cause

Boy: cause why?

Girl: well lets see

Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?

Boy: Nope

Girl: well its strange to me

Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

Girl: I didn't say that

Boy: So is that a yes?

Girl: I guess so.

Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Boy: Are you willing?

Girl: What do you need me to do?

Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.

Girl: ???

Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Boy: ok?

Boy: Hello?

Girl: You can't be serious

Boy: Oh yes I am!

Boy: It's my fantasy.

Girl: this is retarded

Boy: Do you want it or not?

Girl: Yes I want it.

Boy: Then you'll do it for me?

Girl: sure

Boy: Ok. Here we go.

Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.

Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.

Girl: mmmm yeah

Boy: uh oh ...going limp.

Girl: Har

Boy: You gotta do better than that!

Boy: Your picture was really bad.

Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.

Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

Girl: mmmmmm you are good

Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder

Boy: going limp

Girl: HARRRRRRR

Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.

Boy: going limp

Girl: this is stupid

Boy: ...still limp

Boy: Do it!

Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.

Girl: WTF?!?!?

Boy: They stink really bad.

Girl: OMG STOP!!!

Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Boy: I ram it up your ass.

Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

Boy: I kick you in the face!

Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!

Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

Boy: Your parrot flys away.

Boy: ...going limp again.

Boy: Hello?

Boy: Say it!

Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

___________________
"When your spirit is floating down that tunnel towards the light, you know what's behind the light? It's not God, it's me. And im gonna kick your poncey soul all the way back down the tunnel till you choke on your own fucked up ribs. NOW, wake the fuck up!"

That was some of the funniest shit I've ever read. That made me feel better.

___________________
God is a DJ.

*bump*

___________________
PvD Planet

That is the shit man.

___________________
*** Sig edited -> overall sig size too big
http://img141.**************/img141/972/england8rx.gif

quote:

Originally posted by Eddie N MIAMI Brass Monkey that funky Monkey Chang Monkey Chelsea junkie That fucking Monkey

HAAARRRR!

That is some funny shit right there.

that last one was done by bloodninja too.

bloodyninga, you are a god

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH, the pirate one is the best, youd thik the chick would of learned her lesson lol, HAAARRRRR lol

___________________

:hah
a::h
aha:


HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

___________________
LISTEN TO MY SHITTY TRACKS ON SOUNDCLOUD

Dear mother of Christ, that is fuckin' hilarious!!!!!

I LOVE IT!!!!!!

PWNAGE!!!!!!

quote:

Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway. Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

i fuckin cry

___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.