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UWM
mandroid
Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Here
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I am shocked and dismayed that I haven't seen this posted yet -
Pics or STFU
If I missed it in the thread I apologize, I've been up for going on 48 hours.
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 Oct-19-2003 12:43 
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Arbiter
Naked Power Organ
Registered: May 2002
Location:
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| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Amazing how men in society at large have gone all the way from womanizers to pathetic desperate beggars... |
So true... our society conditions them to behave this way.
The mass media glorifies women. Our history books devote entire chapters to important contributions of women which, if the same had been done by a man, would not even have received a footnote. Men are taught that they are lucky to have a girlfriend, and yet the perception is that women are entitled to have a boyfriend.
The message that is being sent is that women are better than men; that they are more valuable than men. Most men, when exposed to these phenomena, come to define their existence through their relationships with women.
Ironically, this creates the opposite type of man from what most women really want.
Whether they want to admit it or not, what most women really look for in a relationship is the feeling that they are special, that something extraordinary about them, and only them, is what makes it possible for the man to want them.
But it does not make them feel special to just be the object of the affections of an ordinary man. They want a man who believes in himself and backs up his belief with action. When someone showers them with gifts or attention, they will naturally respond positively, at first. But sooner or later, they're going to start interpreting this attention as a sign that the man does not believe he deserves her, and must compensate for his own personal deficiencies with flattery and gifts.
What ultimately satisfies women more than anything else is when you can by your behavior instill in them the belief that you have chosen them when you could have chosen any other woman instead.
When a woman asks for "space", it is usually because they feel like you have stopped being the strong, independent man who chose her, and have instead become a man who feels "lucky" to be with her. As a result, she is considering breaking up with you. Whether she realizes it or not, the "space" she is asking for is really a test to see whether you believe you are fortunate to have her, or she is fortunate to have you.
By utterly refusing to initiate any contact with her, you are sending a strong message that your belief is the latter, and, thereby, you maximize the chances that she will choose to continue her relationship with you.
I am extremely confident in my advice. Should you choose to pursue another course of action, I feel you are making a terrible mistake and sabotaging any chance you have to retain her. Ultimately, though, what you truly need to do is to believe in your own mind that she is lucky to have you, and then to behave as such. If you don't believe that, sooner or later she will realize it, and her interest in you will once again fade.
Best Wishes,
Arbiter
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Oct-19-2003 15:17
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DigiNut
You kids get off my lawn!
Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Toronto, Self-proclaimed Centre of the Universe
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Very well said, Arbiter.
I think what this guy will probably do is stop calling her for a few days, rush to answer the phone whenever it rings, give off a disappointed sigh when it's not his g/f, and sulk for the rest of the day. Then when she calls, she'll just say something like "how's it going" or "wanna get some lunch" and he'll cave in instantly and start showering her with attention again.
And sometimes this'll work temporarily - for a few days, even a few weeks maybe - but it is an illusion. Following that course of action only proves one's worth as a doormat, and she'll get bored again very quickly.
But hey, don't take my word for it... see for yourselves... betcha this thread resurfaces in less than 5 days with a glorious story about how they worked everything out and are now happily back together... and then gets bumped another 5 days later to say she dumped him.  
---
Off the record, I don't believe that women were ever oppressed or constricted by 'patriarchal' society (at least not in the 20th century). There were plenty of women who worked - it's appalling how many people believe the feminist tripe without doing any personal investigation of how society was actually structured back then. Feminism just predicated itself on the belief that women who didn't work were worthless to society. If we're going by that logic, might as well abolish maternity leave!
___________________
My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here
Last edited by DigiNut on Oct-19-2003 at 15:37
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Oct-19-2003 15:28 
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djeso
.: Secret Society :.
Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Toronto, Canada
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Re: How Do I Get Her Back?
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Sunburn
So I've been in a relationship for a year now with a girl I love more than anything.
We've been through our ups and downs, but we've had so many good moments that just couldn't ever be replaced.
She's the type of girl that never leaned too much on other people. Just me. She loved the attention I gave her, and love. She never liked girls very much, because of the numerous amount of backstabs they have done to her. So she focused more on guy friends.
Two weeks ago she decided she wanted some space so I gave it to her. She didn't have anybody else she was really interested in. She just wanted to boot old habits we had in our relationship (talking on the phone too much) etc...
But a few days later, she met a guy named Ben. She allowed him to come over to her house and stuff and they chilled. Of course, I didn't like this very much.
Ben is head over heals for Christina. Which is odd considering they just met. He tells her he loves her, gives her flowers, cards, and roses. He takes her places. He's real nice.
BUT HE JUST MET HER! And looking through his online journal, it's easy to say that he's this way with every girl he friggin meets!
There's another guy that takes her home in the afternoon from school. His name's Michael. Every day they hang out after school.
Christina used to be all over me and adored me all the time. But this change in her happened so fast where it seems like she just doesn't care anymore. She's got this new freedom.
And she's the type of person that would get mad if I hung out with other girls.
I miss her terribly. She's always hanging out with her new friends, and I want my relationship back with her! She used to be the most loving person towards me. And now she tells me about how she enjoys cuddling with her new guy friends and such and its just a slap in the face to me. argh....
This is not her at all! I don't see how she could hurt me like this!
What do I do? I want her back!!! |
I know the feeling, experienced similar thing myself ... but it's her choice and not yours, I don't think you'd really want her back though, unless you're up for a one way street relationship. She used to be you said, but it looks like she isn't the same anymore. Sometimes people change, and nothing you can do about it but move on. I don't think it's nice of her telling you how she likes cuddling with other guys, that she should've kept to herself, because it looks like she's just trying to hurt you, or just push you away.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do, go with the flow, don't force anything ... it's never worth it
Peace
___________________
Great Music Stations: 2HP.ca Radio & etn.fm
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Oct-19-2003 16:25 
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