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I barely post anything or read posts that often. I just don't enjoy surfing through message boards that much. But I definitely can relate to this. It's raining cats and dogs here, which just fits this thread and my mood perfectly! ^_~
I noticed that several people mentioned that doing what makes you happy and fulfills your life is very important, especially when life ain't so hot for one reason or another. And that's definitely good advice. But what if you get to the point where it isn't enough? Or, rather, that instead of doing it for you, you want to have someone else to do things for, even if, in the end, they benefit you the most?
For example, I am interested in art. It is ultimately my passion. I have painted on occasion, though my primary interest is in comic book illustrating. Traditional Animation was also a possibility, but since we have moronic studio heads (Disney, Dreamworks) who have now decided that traditional animation is no longer feasable (I can tell there are a bunch of anime fans on here, so I know you guys know otherwise! EVA rules!), that's not much of an option.
Since this is starting to get off-topic, I'll spare all the details and just say that art kinda was put to the side for a little bit. I have tried picking it up again, because I know it is what will make me happy. But for some reason, it isn't enough. All these anime and manga artbooks I have aren't the inspiration I really need...and a friend of mine recently proved that. Because the past 2 times I've gone to see her, she has sat and painted, and so have I. And yet, I will get back to my apartment and do everything BUT my artwork.
Maybe I should make a completely new thread, because this has alot to do with her and her effect on me.
I guess my point, though, from my perspective, is that maybe it isn't enough to just do what you enjoy. That maybe some people really are better off with someone else who will inspire them. At least I feel that way about me...others may not feel the same way, and that is ok.
The anime Evangelion actually brought this question up rather clearly in both the tv and movie endings. It's a question of exactly who am "I". Who am "I" if I don't have "others". Who am "I" in relation to my friends, and am "I" complete with them, or am "I" complete with something else entirely.
Ugh...too much on my own mind, that I think I'm babbling!
Sorry!
Anyways, to Maria and everyone else, you're definitely not alone in feeling alone. And I guess it can be rather therapeutic simply by talking about it here (no doctor's bills! ^_~).
I guess the best thing we can all do is just take it a day at a time.
And make it a point to find that smile inside us. Every day. ^_^
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"Um...Did you find out about how I accidentally saved over your game in Final Fantasy? No, last time that happened you were totally crying, so-" - Wallace, "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World"
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