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DarkAngel
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Registered: Nov 2002
Location: .
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Dec-28-2004 22:57
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Radagast
BANNED FOR LIFE!

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Loc at Ion
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Man, I really think stand-up comedians have gone way down in quality these days. They rely almost entirely on their Race/Sexual Preference/Religion to make "jokes". Here's a summary of today's average comedian:
Black guy:
"Hey everybody, i'm black. The black of my blackness is blacker than the inside of a coffin on a moonless night. I was arrested the other day by a white cop for picking my nose in public. Black folk don't do (insert something all white people do) because we're too smart. White people are funny because they talk properly. Black folk don't do this and black folk always get persecuted for that. Laugh at my hilarity."
White guy:
"What's up guys. I'm a whitey. I'm so white, I make Casper the friendly ghost look like Eddie Murphy. I'm rich, have a credit card, and the ambiguous stereotypical disparities between me and other races are many. I say "cracka please" to my friends instead of "nigga please" like black people. I also have no rhythm. See how white and funny I am!
Asian guy:
Hee hee hee. Me chinese, me play joke, me put pee pee in your coke. My motha speak like "Ching chong chang." I'm so asian. Look at me. There are no live rabid dogs on any block that has a Korean restaurant, trust me. Asians are silly, and so am I because I am asian as well!
Indian guy:
Ahalla ahal..prais Allah! That's what my father said just before he boarded the airplane! They did not even let him on! Let me do a traditional indian belly dance to show you how indian I am. My mother has a dot on her head, can you believe it? She is so indian.
Jewish guy:
It's so hard being a jew. We control the money and hollywood, sure, but everyone still makes fun of us, including us. If I were any more self-depricating i'd have a Late Night show on NBC that nobody watches. My dad called me a worthless shvitzah earlier today! How jewish is he?! How funny am I?!
Hispanic guy:
I'm hispanic everyone. My parents especially though. My dad pronounces his english words so badly that even I cannot understand him. My mom was eating a burrito while giving birth to me, that's how hispanic I am. Laugh at me and my quirky hispanic upbringing.
Homosexual guy:
Hey everyone! What do gay horses eat? HAAAAAAYY! Technically I "came out" last week, but you know everyone could tell before then! It didn't take a detective to figure out this mystery! Because of how gay I am of course! I like men! I also like to make every joke I tell about homosexuals, homosexuality, and how gay I am! HAHAAH.
Edit: Quintessential eh? I thought that was just a word people who just left/are almost out of a cheap college (aka your average 20 somethings) use in a failed attempt at making themselves sound smarter than they actually are. Maybe i'm wrong.
___________________
Robots, machines, mechanical beings
Automatic and synthetic, we have the means
To take control of this planet and the human race
With our electronic rhythms and the Armageddon Bass
Last edited by Radagast on Dec-29-2004 at 00:07
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Dec-28-2004 23:11
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