quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z not at all, why should i care what other people think? i may choose to care about something a certain time, but generally, i dont

dunno if these have been bought up but i got 2 questions for u man

1. if you dont care what people think why voice your opinion here?

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z i walked into a blockbuster today, and i noticed that their drama section was the largest, so i laughed out loud which then reminded me, drama IS friggin entertaining, look at all that happened on TOTA

2. this might be the answer to the above question but are you using TOTA to practice your standup?


now dont get me wrong here dude .. im not taking sides here... just asking out of curiousity

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z second of all, the only people who bring up 'self-esteem' are the ones who have self-esteem problems of their own

Wow I hate it when a fellow TOTA is singled out and their post is broken down and analyzed with scrutiny...it's kinda lame and sorry for doing it myself...but I was just wondering, "how so" to your above point? How do ppl who raise others' self esteem have similar probs of their own? I think it's the exact reverse...they don't have probs and they're trying to help others (maybe not even purposely help but a by-product of their appreciation of...say beauty for example...actually raises self esteem in others).

quote:

Originally posted by raveed dunno if these have been bought up but i got 2 questions for u man 1. if you dont care what people think why voice your opinion here? 2. this might be the answer to the above question but are you using TOTA to practice your standup? now dont get me wrong here dude .. im not taking sides here... just asking out of curiousity

hehe, its alright i understand, i didn't elaborate further which would naturally cause confusion


but for 1. when i voice my opinion i am giving my opinion on a matter, i'm not asking for criticism, or other people's input, i'm just ... voicing my opinion... lol

for 2. i'm not using tota to practice my standup, i'm using tota to test the reaction of people when put under certain situations, for an example when exposed to a joke that some take offense to, or when dealing with drama


fayraree,
the reason is that, noone should enforce their own belifs about self-esteem onto others, others have the right to decided how they wish to function, as soon as you start enforcing your belief of a "correct" self-esteem by saying "i am willing to help", that means that you can't understand the fact that self-esteem is something personal, and hence have not come to an understanding with your own self-esteem

i'm sorry, i wrote this quickly, so it might sound garbled

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z garbled

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quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z fayraree, the reason is that, noone should enforce their own belifs about self-esteem onto others, others have the right to decided how they wish to function, as soon as you start enforcing your belief of a "correct" self-esteem by saying "i am willing to help", that means that you can't understand the fact that self-esteem is something personal, and hence have not come to an understanding with your own self-esteem i'm sorry, i wrote this quickly, so it might sound garbled

Dude, I appreciate your response but in order to have a meaningful conversation, it would be nice if you took your time...then not only would it not be garbled but it might make a bit more sense...I just may not be understanding clearly cuz I'm sleep deprived

Anyway, no one mentioned anything about "enforcing beliefs about self-esteem onto others"...I'm not even sure if that's possible--are you mixing up the term, "self-esteem" with "perspective-on-life"?

Low self-esteem to me means that you feel that YOU are inadequate or lacking in some way...that the public doesn't have a good opinion of you because you're a failure or ugly or whatever.

If someone comes along and tells someone who's always thought of themselves as ugly that they're very beautiful (sincerely, of course) then how can that be seen as "enforcing beliefs about self-esteem onto others"? Your comment didn't make sense to me. Having high self-esteem is ALWAYS a good thing (as long as it doesn't creep into PRIDE or unless the person we're talking about is a serial killer).

EDIT:
Man, this conversation is ending up just like Vrks thread...*yawn* positive vs. negative...if you want low self-esteem go ahead and have it; no one is forcing you to do otherwise...IMHO it's just better to have high s-e.

Last edited by on Apr-28-2005 at 18:22

quote:

Originally posted by fayraree Dude, I appreciate your response but in order to have a meaningful conversation, it would be nice if you took your time...then not only would it not be garbled but it might make a bit more sense...I just may not be understanding clearly cuz I'm sleep deprived ....

you've, in a way, corrected yourself near the end

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z you've, in a way, corrected yourself near the end

Thanks for clearing that up!

can people stop pouring gasoline on this flame and start extinguishing it?

so i says to mabel...

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"The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie" - A.L.