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| quote: | Originally posted by Aiwendil
I eat before, after, and during bed. During sleep, that is. And i'm as healthy as a newborn wookie. How do I do it, you ask? Haha. A Jedi does not reveal his secrets. Though I can tell you that steamed ham on the end of a lightsaber is deeeeeelicsh!
No seriously though. I eat during sleep. That way I can go all day without a meal and feel perfectly fine, and be perfectly healthy, bringing myself one step closer to becoming an inhuman cybernetic killing machine who survives on a diet of nuts, bolts, and Cheveron with Techron. At least, so it would seem to the naked eye! Ahahahahahaha.
Alright alright. But it's the truth that I eat during sleep. I rigged an automatic pulley system for when my helper monkey doesn't feel like cramming food down my throat. He just has to press a button. Of course this doesn't wake me up, because i'm pretty much eating whole turkeys all the time, not unlike how a snake would eat a mouse, rabbit, or human baby. But yeah, i'm not even typing this right now, i'm dictating it to my helper monkey who is typing it for me. Go ahead Melvin, tell the people all about your stimulating simian self. OOH OOH AHH...MAN EAT MELVIN IF MELVIN NO GET FOOD FAST...Alright that's enough Melvin, just post it and go get me a turkey you smelly piece of shit, i'm fucking hungry. |
I got an idea. How about you print off all that crap you just typed with font size 100, and eat the printoff when it's done.
Maybe you could even do it in your sleep, bitch.
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