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It's not good to hear that you have sorts of nightmares or bad dreams in the night ... but I'm wondering that you can sleep anyhow! I hope all will be okay for you and that your fears are unfounded...
I have a story for U ... it doesn't fit very perfect into your case, but it just came to my mind ... may be U know it already, but lemme tell it ... maybe it could help ya 
There was a girl, who lived in a flat with her mother. One day she became very ill and got high fever and shivering all over her body. She had to lie down and rest in bed, but it did not seem to get better. It was rather the opposite, she got weaker and weaker. One day she told her mother that she won't eat anything anymore ... she was too weak. Three days later she said she couldn't drink anymore ... she didn't even want it. Her face grew paler and paler and the doctor said it she would certainly die of this illness. The winter was coming and the doctor said that she won't even survive christmas. One day the girl looked out of the window from her bed and saw, that the leaves of the ivy at the wall of the opposite house are getting less and less. He said to her mother: "If there is are no more leaves on the ivy I'm gonna die. I don't want to live anymore."
Her neighbour was an old painter and the mother has told him what the girl said. The painter wanted to comfort the mother, but he can't. She began to cry and didn't stop for one hour. Her daughter was getting weker and weaker and the leaves on the ivy got less and less.
One morning the painter was found on the street in front of the house - dead. People said, that he just was drunk last night and didn't find the entrance to his house and broke down and died. The mother was even more sad. Now she had not even one person to comfort her. She began to cry again.
The girl looked out of the window every day to see if all leaves of the ivy were down. But it seemed to be a miracle - one leaf just didn't want to fall down! The girl said: "If that leaf falls down I'll die!" But the leaf didn't fall down! One night there was a terrible storm but when the girl looked out of the window next morning the leaf was still there! So she drawed new hope out of it ... she said: "If that leaf is so strong I'll be too!" And she began to drink and eat again ... slow and little first, but every day a bit more. And it really got better with her! Three weeks later she was almost cured and the leaf was still on the ivy - it was a real miracle for both girl and mother! One week later she was cured and went out again to see the last hanging leaf on the ivy. But when she took a close look on the ivy she saw that the leaf was painted on the wall behind the ivy! Suddenly she realized that the painter died as he painted the leaf and that he has savd her life! The end.
I know ... I can't tell it very well in english, but it just came to my mind and maybe the leaf on the ivy can also you give new hope, Tiesto14!
I wish you good luck and don't forget to keep your head up 
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2002 <--> 2020 <--> 2022 (soon)
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I see why you're seeking help from family and friends, it's important to have support to keep you from, like you said, flip out.. You definitely have my support and prayers, I really hope and think the result turns out in your favor.. Like the others said, try to be positive, and keep us updated...
