LOL....oh wow, seriouslythis thread gets me through my day!!

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie LOL....oh wow, seriouslythis thread gets me through my day!!

glad to hear.

___________________
Dave (aka: Upgrade- live pa)

quote:

Originally posted by Lightshow i wear sunglasses for the same reason everybody wears them in a club. 1: people look cool in sunglasses 2: it gets awefully bright as the night progresses

*nusty does not wear sunglasses at night, they make it hard to see and you could trip

quote:

Originally posted by nusty Scientists have suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestr ogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men: talked excessively without making sense; became overly emotional; couldn't drive; failed to think rationally; argued over nothing; had to sit down while urinating and refused to apologize when obviously wrong. No further testing was considered necessary

LOL

awesome.

___________________
-M2J

For set downloads, event details and radio schedule visit:
http://www.vitalevents.net/

quote:

Originally posted by srg:.

Gold.

___________________
-M2J

For set downloads, event details and radio schedule visit:
http://www.vitalevents.net/

quote:

Originally posted by srg:.

HAHAHAH

First of all my friend is there in Vegas right now! Hi Adrian!!!

secondly, my porn name is ..........




Venus Vegas

___________________
DALLAS STAR ™ °¤§£¤y°

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you may help them to become what they are capable of being.

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of
His friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there
Was a big bra ss gong and a mallet.

"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup", replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at i t.

"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an
Ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one
Another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You
Asshole. It's three-fifteen in the morning!"

___________________
Dave (aka: Upgrade- live pa)

quote:

Originally posted by Lightshow i wear sunglasses for the same reason everybody wears them in a club. 1: people look cool in sunglasses 2: it gets awefully bright as the night progresses

*nusty does not wear sunglasses at night, they make it hard to see and you could trip

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits
Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where
to start with asking for help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.

The European community (except France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million
replacement Mexicans.

God Bless America!

___________________
Dave (aka: Upgrade- live pa)

quote:

Originally posted by Lightshow i wear sunglasses for the same reason everybody wears them in a club. 1: people look cool in sunglasses 2: it gets awefully bright as the night progresses

*nusty does not wear sunglasses at night, they make it hard to see and you could trip

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -
Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play,
bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply

___________________
Dave (aka: Upgrade- live pa)

quote:

Originally posted by Lightshow i wear sunglasses for the same reason everybody wears them in a club. 1: people look cool in sunglasses 2: it gets awefully bright as the night progresses

*nusty does not wear sunglasses at night, they make it hard to see and you could trip

wow thanks for this thread...i havent laughed this much in a while...


there were some that i almost fell out of my chair laughing...

good stuff!

Pickup Lines
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher,have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Are those real?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

F @# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I ???

Do you wash your pants in Windolene because I can see myself in them.

I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room

quote:

Originally posted by devnull Pickup Lines

But you're freaking missing the BEST. ONE. EVER...

Girl, you look like a bucket of fuck all wrapped up in skin!

___________________
TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

In the spirt of US thanksgiving fast approaching.....


An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
The son can't believe his ears.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" he screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick and tired of each other and I'm sick of talking about this so you can call your sister is Chicago and tell her."
The old man hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at the old man.
"You are NOT getting divorced.! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow.
Until then, don't do a thing. Do you hear me?" and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

___________________
Dave (aka: Upgrade- live pa)

quote:

Originally posted by Lightshow i wear sunglasses for the same reason everybody wears them in a club. 1: people look cool in sunglasses 2: it gets awefully bright as the night progresses

*nusty does not wear sunglasses at night, they make it hard to see and you could trip