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Allright! One of three favorite topics of conversation. How do I want to die? I've narrowed it down to three different ways, but they can be added together to make a synergistic bowl of morbidity. First: I would like to die recovering from a procedure that grafts my body to as many things as possible like a vase, a mirror, a car door, etc. This would make it almost impossible to bury me and possibly posthumously get me into the Whitney biennial. Second: I want to die in the desert. I always thought the coolest character in Westerns were the dry skulls and I just want to do that for other people. I guess I'm a philanthropist. Third: I would like to be found dead from autoerotic asphixiation while wearing a dress, reading an Ikea catalog, with the entire text of Fleetwood Mac's Rumors written on my body in ball-point pen, and surrounded by boxes wrapped in Christmas paper that contain pictures of US Civil War soldiers just to confuse the shit out of the authorities.
Also, want to know what makes death the worst possible experience for a person? Never talking about it. Western culture teaches us to fear and avoid death as it forces Christians to revere a zombie and tries to convince us that blowing up foreigners is different. The first step in palliation for anyone (cancer, AIDS, COPD, heart failure) is getting people to talk about their fears, hopes, attitudes, and spiritual perspectives. You gotta embrace death as much as you embrace life because you can't have one without the other and holy shit, is it cool. Anyway, paix.
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"I'm tired of self-respect"-DK
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