quote:

Originally posted by tranceaddict991 ok so me and my freind went to the movie with a huge water bottle of vodka...so we each got like 12 good sized shots (it was 3 of us) so i was drunk as shit and we had been drinking at my house before we left...there were mayb like 10 other people in the thearter...so we were fucking everything up...we pissed on the seats and threw stuff everywhere...my freind every took a shit in the corner...so i ran out of things to thrwo so i threw my shoe's at the screen... bad idea the went under it and it took us 30min to find them...then we ran cuz some1 got the manager and we went out side and went to the top of the parking garage and we threw all sorts of shit off it...man it was one crazy as easter night...then we all left but none of our parents would let any1 sleep pver so we went our spererate ways..and at home i was talking to freinds online and some1 said there was a killer clown behind me so i ran out of my house and ran all the way to the park near my house..its was one crazy ass night...fun as shit thought

you realise you're an idiot, right?

quote:

Originally posted by teegee pinched a loaf in a friend's bathtub. also sat in my own vomit. i'm a fun drunk, I swear. goddamit.

rofl
that was a goooood night
bad morning, but goooood night
i still can't believe that
the shit was like only halfway down the side of the tub
it was both one of the grossest and funniest things i've ever seen, especially while incredibly hungover

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http://www.youtube.com/mezzir

i tried climbing over a fence...didnt work

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Signature Suspended as it was deemed offensive.

I got pregnant.

quote:

Originally posted by Tranc3 I got pregnant.

http://oldeenglish.org/joel.html

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http://www.youtube.com/mezzir

Ahh, drunken stories. Where do I start?

Occasionally for business purposes, when networking and talking up big deals over a few drinks there is a certain culture that requires men in suits to attend night spots that involve girls taking off their clothes and dancing closely with a pole on a stage.

Personally I'd much rather take my chances at a local bar or nightclub meeting some females and buying some drinks than pay $75 to touch a girl's breasts for 15 minutes. But there is a certain attraction for middle aged men that get none from their wives at home. I can understand this.

This was the night I was out-drunk by a 54 year old. See, I thought it would be a good idea to take some diaretics to lower my fluid levels to be in optimum physical condition for a weekend beach adventure, the only problem being that my tolerance to alcohol was reduced to the level of a 11 year old school girl.

Quite simply I got smashed. Not drunk, I'm talking totally wiped out into absolute oblivion. One of the older guys against my express wishes buys me a lap dance and in my state of vulnerability am led out to the back room by a girl wearing minimal attire. Next thing she has taken my shirt off, and unbuttoned the zip in my pants, and she has taken her shirt off.

Now a whole 15 seconds afterr sitting down, as sometimes when drunk the world has a tendancy to spin, the ceiling, the walls, all close objects, they seem to act like a washing machine. I needed to spew. So I push the girl off and run for the bathroom.

So here I am half naked, running through a crowded strip joint trying to find the bathroom with my hand over my mouth and a crazed look in my eye. This is supposed to be a night where I impress some new business contacts and a few minutes later I am kicked out, still with no shirt on and no idea where it is.

Have you ever tried catching a cab shirtless?

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara

quote:

Originally posted by Tranc3 I got pregnant.

This one takes the cake.

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My greatest accomplishment in life is that I've lived this long.

don't drink.
don't u all realize the leading cause of drunk driving is alchohol?

quote:

Originally posted by nialsjd don't drink. don't u all realize the leading cause of drunk driving is alchohol?

the other leading cause being driving?
not to mention the strong influence of being an irresponsible idiot

haha ive got so many stories

but at school i pissed in the washing machine and dryer on someones clothes! kinda fucked up, I know, but it was funny at the time

got really drunk went to denny's with friends...i had a condom in my pocket and i slammed it against teh window. and this group of girls was walking outside and saw...and they got this really weird look on their face. well anyway when they came in to eat i walked over to apologize for my rather rude gesture and assured them that it was in no way meant to offend anyone. then later i came back and asked how their meal was and if everything was ok, i even offered to pay...they said it was ok and they forgave me. then at the end of my meal i walked my drunk self over there...took the condom out and yelled "IM RICK JAMES BITCH!!!" (this was at the height of that phrase's popularity)...and threw the condom on the table, it bounced and landed in some girls food. then one of them said "hey asshole..." and i was like "shut it bitch! ah ah ah" (rick james laugh) and walked out...with all my friends laughing their asses off...good times....goooood times

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