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| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Lie #9: You Cannot Blame Parents, Because “They Did The Best They Could.”
My observation is that all parents, even the worst parents, “did the best they could.” Yet this doesn’t let any parent off the hook. A child has the right to blame his parents for their inadequacies—because their inadequacies damaged him. Laying blame at the feet of perpetrators is a huge step in breaking the intergenerational cycle of trauma—and sets the stage for healing.
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As a kid I saw my parents as nearly perfect, highly ethical, with great morals...and this was primarily true...perhaps less true over time as they've become a product of their new environment. In the few situations where I felt they made mistakes on any part of my upbringing, they were blamed without much reasoning. As I got older I realized that Parents are just humans, and they are'nt perfect, and they make mistakes. Just like anyone, they too can be ignorant and lacking knowledge on how to raise a child in a different environment than where they grew up. So you have to 'understand' them and their 'humanity', and the imperfections that their human nature might have brought into situations.
I think a problem in our society is that people are taught that we have to be 'perfect', or to strive towards perfection, or that things can be this perfect ideal. I think this ideal hurts society more than it helps. Because there is less understanding towards mistakes, and this hurts the emotional intelligence of humans. And even if someone pushes themselves towards perfection, they are still short of perfection, so there is not much reward in the ideal. The Perception of not being perfect or being short of perfect waters down much of the work that went into it. It helps you be more productive, yet potentially still 'empty.'
I think religous books play a big part in this perfection ideal. And not enough is taught in schools on how to appreciate and understand human nature, and our imperfections. We are born out of probability, chaos, and imperfection, so why expect or tell people they should strive to be perfect?
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commercial and underground electronic music (house/techno/trance/other) will surpass today's hip hop/pop/rock/country in worldwide interest...if it has'nt already.
Last edited by Kismet7 on Apr-16-2010 at 01:36
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