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| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
True that, but I'm not sure this happens to each and everyone of them, as I know very little about this issue.
What I mean to ask it: do you think alcoholics in general lack the drive to bond with other people? |
To your point about alcoholics and their capacity for humanity/lack there of. Naturally, it depends on the alcoholic. What exists as a virtual certainty is that they wind up in fairly horrendous straights - sometimes compelling them to stop drinking, altogether, but more often than not, compelling them to drink again.
One alcoholic I knew was possibly one of the nicest persons I've ever met. He was considerate to a fault. His compassion was grounds for a debacle in a hotel room in which he'd invited another homeless man in for a night of cold weather. Eventually, he blacked out but remembers glimpses of the man masturbating on the bed above him, as he lay on the floor, virtually catatonic. He woke up, the next day, to an empty room in complete disarray. There was no way of knowing what had happened other than the awful feeling greeting him, that morning.
Certainly, not everyone is going to have such stark black and white experiences. Some people never make it that far down the ladder. Others are just lucky. What is certain, however, is that there is a fundamental shift in consciousness which I would consider a chemically induced dissociative state. Fragments of the original person are there but, as time passes on, little by little they are replaced by the raw ingredients of the person subjected to a repeated process of psychological fractional distillation.
To your question as to whether alcoholics lack the drive to form bonds with others: Again, it depends on the alcoholic and how far down they've descended but there is a reason alcoholism is considered an isolating disease. For starters, the alcoholic's behavior, particularly when drinking, tends to alienate others, including his or her fellow drinkers.
Certain alcoholics are prone to physical violence while others become emotionally and psychologically abusive. Just as capricious is the alcoholic's tendency to form bonds - often on the spur of the moment and with consequences just as unpredictable. Some eventually wind up getting burned in the myriad exchanges with others and choose, absolutely willfully and with certain resolution, to abandon any faction of society which does not cater to their needs.
Those who choose isolation are only regulars at the liquor store and work, where the animosity they extend to coworkers functions for the drinker as a no-trespassing sign, and for the coworker, a very real warning. They drink in complete isolation. This situation occurs long after their list of friends has dwindled under the strain of the multitudinous, lost chances to straighten up and fly right. Even the bonds of family aren't enough.
To say, however, that the alcoholic's isolation is the result of his unwillingness to form bonds would be to misunderstand the complexity. Here, Maslow's hierarchy of needs meets a meet grinder. There were many stages prior to the self-imposed isolation where the alcoholic learned that his desire to form bonds would wind up causing him unjust (for the alcoholic is hard pressed to actually accept responsibility) and egregious pain.
The short answer to your question is an unequivocal no - the alcoholic does have the drive to form bonds. His ability and method, however, are both misguided and retarded. Only when this drive has put him in conflict with others to his abnormal detriment will he choose to do without such pursuits.
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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012
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