First I would ask, how the hell can my pet be drowning? but then I would say I love you either mack, oreo, or missy....and get the stranger
I love you macky! you're my favorite doggie....your the boss wit da hot sauce...my big mack...and oreo...you run, drink out of the toilet, and bite me all the goddamn time like a dog but I love ya. Missy you're a 16 year old cat, your time has come anyway.... 
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Explaining back sticking: "grip the shaft lightly, and tap the butt."
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