Homer: Oh God, where are you?

*telephone rings*

*Homer picks up phone*

Phone: Hello Homer, this is God...frey Jones from the popular TV series Hard Bottom

Haha i've got a postcard of this one

Lisa: You've defined yourself as a rebel. And in the absence of a repressive mileu your social niche has been co-opted.

___________________
~There's something about the look in your eyes,
Something I noticed when the light was just right.
It reminded me twice that I was alive.
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight...~

"doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"...and the lesson is, never try..."

- Homer

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.

[The camera pulls back to reveal several similarly-attired girls.]

Lisa: Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.

Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

In a new episode willie admits he's been deaf all his life but has learned to read lips :

Postman walks by ''Hi willie''
Willie ''What did you say about my mother? For your information her feet stink because she works in manure all day,... but it's still the damn best starbucks in Glascow''

Imagine it with willie's accent.

H: "All work and no beer make homer go something something something..."
M: "Go Crazy?"
H: "DON'T MIND IF I DO!!"
"WELABADOO EW UH EH OH"

hehehe

___________________
In the beginning there was Jack. And Jack had a groove. And from this groove came the groove of all grooves. And while one day viciously throwing down on his box Jack boldly declared "Let there be house!" And house music was born. I am the creator and this is my house and in my house there is only house music. But I am not so selfish because once you enter my house it then becomes our house and our house music and you see no one man owns house because house music is a universal language spoke and understood by all. You see, house is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of house. House is an uncontrollable desire to jack your body and as I told you before this is our house and our house music. In every house you understand, there is a keeper and in this house the keeper is Jack.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.



Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.




Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Homer: When will you people learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently trough the darkest alleys and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities. So, like us, let all your children run wild and free, for as the Bible tells us, "Let all your children run wild and free."



Homer: Bart, I'm not asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You may not realize it now, but when you save a rich guy's life, he showers you with riches. Don't you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough, so they got Hercules and he used his mighty strength, and bingo. Anyway, the moral is, is that the lion was so happy, that he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get riches?
Homer: It was the olden days.
Bart: Oh.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

quote:

Originally posted by madhattared H: "All work and no beer make homer go something something something..."

"No TV and no beer.."

___________________
Latest releases:
Endless Cycles [Capital Heaven]
The Charlatan [Morphosis]

Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding*
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*

___________________
In the beginning there was Jack. And Jack had a groove. And from this groove came the groove of all grooves. And while one day viciously throwing down on his box Jack boldly declared "Let there be house!" And house music was born. I am the creator and this is my house and in my house there is only house music. But I am not so selfish because once you enter my house it then becomes our house and our house music and you see no one man owns house because house music is a universal language spoke and understood by all. You see, house is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of house. House is an uncontrollable desire to jack your body and as I told you before this is our house and our house music. In every house you understand, there is a keeper and in this house the keeper is Jack.

Barney: "Uh oh, someone smells stinky!"
Barney: *sniff* *sniff*
Barney: "Oh, it's me."


Duffman: "Duffman says a lot of things."


Some Guy: "Congratulations Mr Gumble, you've won this years supply of beer."
Barney: "Just hook it to my veins."


I swear I'm not an alcoholic

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by madhattared Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns? Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding* Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go. Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*

lol..Sears catalog

quote:

Originally posted by madhattared Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns? Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding* Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go. Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*

LOL.....thats moe at its best

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