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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > hypothetically if you were raped
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Taranis
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Adelaide, Australia

quote:
One friend of mine knocked up another friend of mine during a casual hookup. The chick was going through a pretty wreckless period in her life where she had been partying and sleeping around a lot. The dude made it clear from the start that he had zero interest in being a father and that he would pay for all of the costs of an abortion. He's a good person and he would have also supported her through the difficult emotional aspect.

She decided to have the child. I think she did it because her life was going nowhere and she was lonely. Bad reasons. The short version is that the kid has serious behavioral problems and the chick told me that if she could do it over she would have had the abortion.

As odd as it sounds these decisions shouldn't be made from a totally emotional perspective.


She decides her life is going nowhere so she decides to screw the rest of it over by carrying the kid? Good call there :|

Old Post Jan-26-2007 13:37  Australia
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Ed G
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Location: Location

quote:
Originally posted by Taranis
She decides her life is going nowhere so she decides to screw the rest of it over by carrying the kid? Good call there :|

Xactly, and she's paying the price. I think it's fairly common that people have kids because they think it will fill a void in their lives. As someone already said, having children for selfish reasons is risky.


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Old Post Jan-26-2007 13:49 
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Taranis
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Adelaide, Australia

quote:
Xactly, and she's paying the price. I think it's fairly common that people have kids because they think it will fill a void in their lives. As someone already said, having children for selfish reasons is risky.


Just seems like a kind of odd decision, even for someone like her. When I get the feeling that my life isn't going anywhere particular it makes me want to go out and party, cause hey what is there to lose, the last thing I want to do is tie myself down with responsibility and potentially create a negative environment that could permanantly affect someone elses life in the process.

That said, you have to kind of feel for the guy in that situation, though I guess he could have always worn a condom, it has to suck to be stuck paying child support or raising a kid because of one stupid mistake without even having a say in the abortion issue.

Old Post Jan-26-2007 13:58  Australia
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

abortion

would be doing more of a favor for the child. who the fuck wants to come into the world like that? you can't keep a lie like that forever...


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Jan-26-2007 14:49 
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RJT
last minute disco



Registered: Oct 2004
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by jdat
some of the serious replies in here shock me terribly.


The fact that there are any is an absolute shame.


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Old Post Jan-26-2007 15:06 
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infinity HiGH
groovin



Registered: Oct 2001
Location: west side T.O

quote:
Originally posted by dallastar
it's serious question


holy fuck do you even know what hypothetical means??

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:01  Poland
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wienerschnitzel
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2003
Location: out west

Well, we adopted my brother when he was 2 and he clearly remembers it, so it would be stupid to try and lie to him about it. Also, we didn't have any information on his biological parents, when he turned 18 he decided to do a search and this is what the agency had to tell him, and he feels better knowing it because he feels like he knows more about himself, and believe it or not ISN'T devastated by it, i think it just helped him come to terms as to why his mum surrendered him. I am pro choice as long as that person makes an INFORMED decision, being they know what they are doing and what is going to happen and what possible side-effects are etc. I do not blame anyone that would get an abortion due to rape. The only reason i say that i would carry it and probably keep it is because i CARRIED a baby and i have her, (obviously diffrent circumstances being married) but i know what it's like to have a baby inside you and also to raise one. even if it was a product of rape i would give that baby all the love it deserves. And it wouldn't need to know why they came into this world unless they asked as an adult. Theresa, just as you choose to believe it is just a clump of cells at the begining, i believe that it is a life at conception, and when i was first pregnant, i pictured my baby as a clump of cells, then a weird dinosaur looking thing, then a embryo, fetus and so on. I think adoption can be a good thing, there are alot of familys that aren't able to have babies, my sister in law being one of them. However, people need to stop using it as a form of birth control (as well as abortion).

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:15  Canada
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XaNaX
I <3 global warming



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: 1000 Miles too far North

When someone posts questions about abortion I typically just say "If your mom was in that situation would you want her to abort you or have you and give you up for adoption?"

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:17  United States
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

quote:
Originally posted by XaNaX
When someone posts questions about abortion I typically just say "If your mom was in that situation would you want her to abort you or have you and give you up for adoption?"


quality of life v. life at all?

yea, i'd rather be aborted than get bumped around from foster home to foster home as a child of rape, and be abused and neglected (foster homes are sickening these days) my entire adolescent life and become fucked up.


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:21 
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XaNaX
I <3 global warming



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: 1000 Miles too far North

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
quality of life v. life at all?

yea, i'd rather be aborted than get bumped around from foster home to foster home as a child of rape, and be abused and neglected (foster homes are sickening these days) my entire adolescent life and become fucked up.


Who says you are going to end up in foster homes? With older children yes, nobody wants them. It is hard as hell to find adoptive parents for older children and teens because typically if they are up for adoption at that age they have been taken from their parents because of abuse/neglect.

However babies are a completely different story. I personally know someone who just adopted a baby. It took them years and thousands of dollars to complete the adoption. There is a huge backlog of people wanting to adopt babies in this country. Their adoption was an open one where the child can know who its birth mother is. However in the case of a pregnancy created by rape you could very easily have a closed adoption. The birth mother would never have to see the child and there would be no reason to tell the child that they were a product of rape.

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:32  United States
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Taranis
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Adelaide, Australia

quote:
When someone posts questions about abortion I typically just say "If your mom was in that situation would you want her to abort you or have you and give you up for adoption?"


You can't really put it that way, it's not as if by aborting the baby you designate them an alternative existance which is inferior to this one. They simply don't come into existance at all.

If you're going to take that line of argument, why don't you just go the whole 9 yards and claim contraception is wrong because it denies children the opportunity to be born or something. It's exactly the same thing until the baby actually reaches consciousness, it's just a matter of where you halt the process. Should we have a moral issue with people not having sex every night as well, since every time you don't fuck, you lose another opportunity to save a poor baby from nonexistance. Where do you draw the line before it becomes our moral duty to bring as many babies as possible into existance.

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:33  Australia
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

To be perfectly honest, I don’t really think that I’m cut out for pregnancy and motherhood with babies/infants. I am way better with children and teenagers and I honestly can see myself adopting a couple of kids who are grown already, instead of a newborn or having my own.

I don’t have the patience for potty training and diaper changing and not getting any sleep for the first couple of years and breast feeding and all that shit. I dunno, maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit, but I would have no problem adopting a 7 year old or even a 14 or 15 year old. They need love and a home too.


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Jan-26-2007 16:38 
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