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Author's Note: Presumably the story will end around chapter 14
Chapter 10
PKC waved his magic wand again and Lira appeared. "Would you look at that", he said.
We all cheered. "Glad you're back Lira. Hey, did you hear? I said you're!", Stu said.
"Oh, just look at how bouncy they are", Lira said.
"Get that girl outta here, Fledz."
As TTOKKYO left Lira appeared dazed and confused. "What happened? Where am I?", he asked.
"You're safe now. We brought you back from AUS, it was a conspiracy."
"And what a horrible one", he said, "Did you know they don't have canalisation there but instead just fill it up into Foster's cans?"
The next day brought more bad news, as Googooly was still teaching English.
"End here. Us then. Finn, again! Take. Bussoftlhee, mememormee! Till thousandsthee. Lps. The keys to. Given! A way a lone a last a loved a long the riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."
"Can you believe that cretin?", Fledz said abrasively. "He's raping the English language and none of his babbling makes any sense."
"So wat u think bout dat passage from Finnegans Wake?", Googooly asked.
We decided we had to get rid of him. Luckily PKC knew an Italian mafia boss that lived under disguise as a real estate agent. His daughter was happily riding her tricycle in the garden when we entered the house.
"We're here on behalf of our friend Patrick. He needs a man to be taken care of. Should he send you a letter describing everything?"
"Don't send teh lettar!", he advised. "Just tell me, I can help you. Yo Mel, make my guests some sandwiches, will you?"
Turned out the kid was no kid at all, but his wife. Meanwhile we described our business to him.
"I'll have my man Mario do it for you. You'll recognize his work, he always leaves exactly nine nachos at the crime scene."
For the evening I convinced Stu go come and see Bas and Clovis play. We were chilling at the bar while some fat Guatemalan played the warm-up set.
"Hey, look at that"; Stu said, pointing to a couple at the bar. "You see that nerdy chick with the Englishman? I believe he's date raping her."
"Why is that?"
"He's drinking like a fish yet appears completely sober, while she only had a Martini and can hardly stand upright anymore. Probably put something in her drink."
Sushi ran over to confront the guy.
"What the hell are you talking about? I would never Acton her like that."
"OK, OK", I said, "excuse my friend. Stu likes to play the moderator."
"Stu? Lemme tellya something", the drunk girl said. "I fuckin love you. You're my favorite mod. Like seriously."
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So many epic characters in this.
