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Re: Re: The biggest injustice in the world
| quote: | Originally posted by Vesa
It's called courtship, and evolution has imprinted it in the female brain and hormones. A woman may be dying to have sex with a guy she fancies, but still be outwardly subtle and resist it because her brain is simply wired that way.
Courtship is a complex process, and can't properly be put into words. Basically it's like: the guy makes an advance, the girl resists, the guy persists, the girl lets him proceed a bit, the guy advances even more, the girl thinks it's too much and puts some brakes on. After a pause (or possibly on the next date), the guy tries again with another advance, and now the girl is ready to proceed again a bit.
Of course, if the girl doesn't like the guy, the interview is over immediately, and the guy had best forget about it. If the guy tries to advance too fast or unwantedly, the girl pushes him away or slaps 
The stages of courtship are well-documented. The following page presents it in the form of developing intimacy:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/home...er/12steps.html
When women say that they can't easily have sex without an emotional aspect, they probably mean that they are ready to have sex only when an approproate level of intimacy has been reached. If she has already lusted after the guy for a long time because of his good (= bad ?!) reputation, the girl may be ready for sex after talking to him for only half an hour. Then there's very little resistance from her. But with some ordinary guys, she may need half a dozen dates to notice that he's a really cool man. Of course, the timespan of the courtship also varies depending on what the girl wants from the relationship (one-night stand, something undefined or a steady relationship).
What I wrote above may sound scientific and boring, but it's just a simplification. In reality, the details and roles of courtship occur in countless combinations. It's not at all unusual that the girl makes some of the advances. But in general it's the guy's role to have main responsibility of advances, and girl's role to adjust speed of advances.
It's great fun, so I suggest you enjoy woman's subtlety and resistance, instead of getting frustrated. It's the best game out there 
PS. When the guy and girl have had sex, everything changes. After that, the female mind will usually allow having sex without any courtship. But occasionally the girlfriend needs to go through the stages of the courtship process again (of course, the guy can advance guite fast, like when having a candle-lit dinner together). This kind of mini-courtship is called being romantic |
Well, guess I kinda blew that "courtship" theory out of the water.
My courtship = 2 hours
Then, off to the sack we go!
Ya know, I admit I was lucky to find someone so quickly, even though we dated for another 2 years before getting hitched. And granted, it hasn't been a boatride the whole way either (are they ever?). But she's definitely the one and always will be. But this thread's about the differences between guys and girls having or wanting sex. I've never had a problem with a girl wanting or getting just as much sex as a guy, and I've met and dated plenty of them in the past. Geez, what are they supposed to be, Catholic nuns or something? Sex is in fact, a very healthy part of our well-being, provided it's not used for harmful means or if you're a freak about it (nymphos, lunatics, ya know what I mean).
Conversely, there are some women (and probably in some rare instances, a few men) that may not want as much sex as bunny rabbits. Doesn't make them wierd or anything - maybe there's other things on their minds, who knows. But I won't judge them as prunes either (they're just not my type!).
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Whence September dusk grows crisper still,
with leaves all crimson conquered,
I yearn to shout,
and dance about,
and stick pickles in my honker...
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