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:: 10 ways to know you are drunk ::
When are you drunk? When are the people who tell you you're drunk (usually the ones you bump into and puke on) right? In my opinion you're not drunk as long as you can tell you aren't without falling on the floor. Howerever, you are drunk as you qualify for one of these:
1. You come back from the toilet and your shoes are all splattered. Caused by back and forth rocking whilst peeing. During this you try to grab on to something for stability, but realise your dick isn't really suitable for this.
2. Your pronounciation fails.
For example, you try and order some booze, but misspell the word 'beer'. Even worse is when you misspell the word previous to beer: 'a'.
3. When at a party, you count more shoes than faces.
4. Your (drunken) buddies are lying on top of you and you like it.
Consider this as a group hug, but than horizontally. If your buddies are drunk too, this is good for a laugh the day after. If they're sober, I suggest you get new friends.
5. The most intelligent thing you can say is: aah wazh bleh blah hmm burpzzz.
6. People keep telling you you're drunk. The stupid fucks.
Try puking or falling on them. That'll teach them trying to ruin your fun.
7. Two guys in a blue uniforms try to get you into some blue and white thing with four wheels and an irritating sirene on it. They are looking very serious and got these cool toys attached to their belts.
8. You wonna play the pinball-machine, and some guy tells you to get your hands of his girlfriend.
9. You got into the party, but can't seem to find your way out.
Damn that infrastructure...
10. Walking in a straight line to the bar proves to be very difficult.
You bump into people, chairs and tables. To avoid loss of beer on the way back, you might wonna drink your beer shotgun-wise.
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Only the drunk one LOL 
