quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter It's none of my business how she feels about any person or any thing.

So explain to me why you go into a relationship? just stay single. I for one like to have things that are special to me and my gf and not shared with anyone else. And pretty much everyone thinks this way. And yes this is rationnal

oh please cut the bullshit ffs...

Im sure that if your girlfriend cheated on you with another guy you would mind, no matter how possesive you are or arent.
You wouldnt feel hurt? you wouldnt feel embarrased she switched dicks on you? you wouldnt feel humiliated? you wouldnt feel insecure? you have no feelings when it comes to sex?

you sound more like dog than a human to me since only an animal could relate to your points of view.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter That's why I brought trust into the discussion earlier. You have to trust someone not to get an STD or cause a pregnancy. Sure: it's possible that it could happen anyway. But you don't tell them they can't drive because it's possible they could get into a car crash.

Would it be fair to ask that the other take an std's test after each time she sleeps with someone else.

Because if not it's a total lack of respect to put you in danger even if it's just 1%

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter That's why I brought trust into the discussion earlier. You have to trust someone not to get an STD or cause a pregnancy. Sure: it's possible that it could happen anyway. But you don't tell them they can't drive because it's possible they could get into a car crash.

So - not sleeping with others is usually implicit in the rules of commitment (until decided otherwise, or in exceptional cases), so, once the trust is broken by not following this rule, you can't trust in other issues, such as the STD thing.

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quote:

Originally posted by Falcon-X You just proved my point. This is your opinion wich is clearly not the majority and it it YOUR personal matter. So dont try to establish a general principle and thus your opinion is meaningless

You obviously don't understand this discussion at all.

I'll go over it again for you:

I claimed that:

Insecurity is the most plausible explanation for possessive behavior in relationships.

Then you and others have avoided coming up with an alternative explanation and made the argument that insecurity is good or OK in this situation. That is a red herring: meaning that it has no relevance to my original claim whatsoever, and is an attempt to change the subject.

Nevertheless, I've taken the position that insecurity isn't good in this situation. I haven't tried whatsoever to establish that this as a general principle[b] - but others in this thread [b]have tried to establish the benefits of insecurity as a general principle. However, this argument can't be supported by feelings as they are a personal matter, and it can't be supported by "a majority" since that is logically irrelevant.

quote:

Originally posted by albertoR oh please cut the bullshit ffs... Im sure that if your girlfriend cheated on you with another guy you would mind, no matter how possesive you are or arent. You wouldnt feel hurt? you wouldnt feel embarrased she switched dicks on you? you wouldnt feel humiliated? you wouldnt feel insecure? you have no feelings when it comes to sex? you sound more like dog than a human to me since only an animal could relate to your points of view.

Ignored. You can't back your positions up with anything but ad hominems. Please learn some basic logic before you post.

quote:

Originally posted by Falcon-X Would it be fair to ask that the other take an std's test after each time she sleeps with someone else.

Yes, it would be "fair" to ask anything you want. It would be fair for you to decide to break up because the other slept with someone else. You are also free to do what you want, not just your significant other.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter but others in this thread have tried to establish the benefits of insecurity as a general principlelogically irrelevant.

Not insecurity, commitment

quote:

Originally posted by Lira So - not sleeping with others is usually implicit in the rules of commitment (until decided otherwise, or in exceptional cases), so, once the trust is broken by not following this rule, you can't trust in other issues, such as the STD thing.

Obviously if they just go out and sleep with someone else without telling you it might be a good idea not to trust them. But if you ask me, if you can't trust them you shouldn't be sleeping with them at all, anyway. You can if you like, but you're playing a dangerous game.

But if they tell you they don't consider a monogamous relationship to be a part of their commitment, then you haven't got a reason not to trust them (at least, not on that basis alone).

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter Ignored. You can't back your positions up with anything but ad hominems. Please learn some basic logic before you post.

This thread has nothing to do with logic, but with reason. Learn to reason before you post.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter Obviously if they just go out and sleep with someone else without telling you it might be a good idea not to trust them. But if you ask me, if you can't trust them you shouldn't be sleeping with them at all, anyway. You can if you like, but you're playing a dangerous game. But if they tell you they don't consider a monogamous relationship to be a part of their commitment, then you haven't got a reason not to trust them (at least, not on that basis alone).

So you think they will tell you ''honey I'm gooing out to sleep with joe, see you in a few hours''

Come on you make no sense at all

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter But if they tell you they don't consider a monogamous relationship to be a part of their commitment, then you haven't got a reason not to trust them (at least, not on that basis alone).

So, as far as we've read, he had not been told. Once he aknowledged the fact his girlfriend had got a girlfriend, he thought it was nice at first and now he finds it bizarre.

In any case, that's up to him now, and I admit his girlfriend's girlfriend is really fit, so I would be tempted to bang 'em all, although part of me would tell me not to.

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