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aNYthing
Abrasive Cockhead @ Large
Registered: Dec 2005
Location: Near metric fuck-a-ton of high-end gear
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Ok so here are some of my morning sex stories:
1. I was dating this one girl who loved to do morning aerobics in the nude. So here I am fully dressed for work and there she is, completely nekkid doing full splits while watching fitness channel. I ended up on probation and subsequently fired for constantly being late.  it was worth it.
2. My x GF came by one morning before I left for work, wearing nothing but raincoat. I opened the door and she opened the coat. It Was an offer I couldn't refuse. Especially considering she unzipped my fly and Levinskied my cigar before I had a chance to protest. Since that time she had a key to my place, and I got morning work out and clean apartment when I came home. I made it clear that we're not getting back together and she was fine with it for about 2 months, but then I met my future GF and when things started getting serious between us, I gave the X one final facial and a boot.
And there was one that wasn't as pleasant:
3. One morning after a serious boozer I woke up to major hang over from hell, splitting headache and loud slurping sound, combined with a feeling that somewhat resembled a blowjob but a lame one. Opening my eyes to excruciating pain from light pouring in and teeth scraping my protesting and whithered babymaker, I saw something that kinda looked like a female but if it wasn't for a vagina, could easily be mistaken for a hellspawn. . And then it hit me - I remembered that I picked up a hot chick the night before at the club and we went to her place. I was not only drunk but tripping ballz. Although the chick that was blowing me was much uglier than a sin itself, not the hottie I remembered from night before.
I freaked out and ran to the bathroom, blaming it on upset stomach. When I came out I told her that I had a food poisoning that gave me an explosive diarhea. This stopped the horny beast from making further advances and shortly thereafter, after convincing her I was gonna be ok, I split and promissed to call her.
I think she's still waiting.
That was the last time I let the little head make decisions, while the big head was running low on batteries.
___________________
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
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 Jul-28-2007 07:48 
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Rose
hmmm
Registered: May 2007
Location: -
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| quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
Ok so here are some of my morning sex stories:
1. I was dating this one girl who loved to do morning aerobics in the nude. So here I am fully dressed for work and there she is, completely nekkid doing full splits while watching fitness channel. I ended up on probation and subsequently fired for constantly being late. it was worth it.
2. My x GF came by one morning before I left for work, wearing nothing but raincoat. I opened the door and she opened the coat. It Was an offer I couldn't refuse. Especially considering she unzipped my fly and Levinskied my cigar before I had a chance to protest. Since that time she had a key to my place, and I got morning work out and clean apartment when I came home. I made it clear that we're not getting back together and she was fine with it for about 2 months, but then I met my future GF and when things started getting serious between us, I gave the X one final facial and a boot.
And there was one that wasn't as pleasant:
3. One morning after a serious boozer I woke up to major hang over from hell, splitting headache and loud slurping sound, combined with a feeling that somewhat resembled a blowjob but a lame one. Opening my eyes to excruciating pain from light pouring in and teeth scraping my protesting and whithered babymaker, I saw something that kinda looked like a female but if it wasn't for a vagina, could easily be mistaken for a hellspawn. . And then it hit me - I remembered that I picked up a hot chick the night before at the club and we went to her place. I was not only drunk but tripping ballz. Although the chick that was blowing me was much uglier than a sin itself, not the hottie I remembered from night before.
I freaked out and ran to the bathroom, blaming it on upset stomach. When I came out I told her that I had a food poisoning that gave me an explosive diarhea. This stopped the horny beast from making further advances and shortly thereafter, after convincing her I was gonna be ok, I split and promissed to call her.
I think she's still waiting.
That was the last time I let the little head make decisions, while the big head was running low on batteries. |
Those are some fuckin stories.
 @ the third one
___________________
| quote: | Originally posted by AustralianGQ
im a failure with females...i will be the real 40 year old virgin i guarentee you |
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Jul-28-2007 07:56 
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beats and beeps
Guest
Registered: Not Yet
Location:
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| quote: | Originally posted by Sushipunk
I continually lol at stories like this.
You grew up reading Penthouse stories didn't you?
Did you actually think for a second that one person here believes you?
Except for ikhouvanu
lol
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ikhouvanu is obviously an alt
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Jul-28-2007 12:17
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