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Lira
Ancient BassAddict



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasilia, Brazil

Being self-confident has its pros and cons.

The most obvious advantage about being confident is that, if I think something is worth doing, I will try to do it, no matter what. From music production to Kantian philosophy and breakdancing, I don't think I've ever been held back by the belief that "something was too difficult". Furthermore, girls like confidence and stuff, and that's a bloody shoopdawooping benefit But, it just reflects my view that, even if I fail, at least I tried.

However, some insecure people often think that my confidence is actually an overweening arrogance. That's rarely a problem, because the more people get to know me, the more they realise I'm far from having a lofty attitude and haughty manners. If anything, I will try instil confidence into everyone around me, which is not something I'd consider to be arrogant. But when there's a backlash (i.e. someone criticises me for being too secure or punishes me for doing things my way), it can hurt me really hard, as my high self-efficacy is quite independent from my self-esteem. I'm often feeling miserable anyway, heh

Lebez: I can totally relate to this problem of "being too nice". I get that all the time, although I can't really say it bothers me.

Lücid: I'm a capricorn


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Last edited by Lira on Apr-30-2008 at 18:04

Old Post Apr-30-2008 17:58  Brazil
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gehzumteufel
In your ass



Registered: Nov 2005
Location: so cal

quote:
Originally posted by chimera66
...being independant. i figure stuff out by myself, not really afraid of change nor do i REALLY care what other people think which helps me remain true to myself. the crappy part is sometimes i tend to put some people off because i can be blunt, i don't believe in "babying" people and i won't put in more than the minimal effort to help people on some things because if i can figure it out so can they...not saying i'm an ass but i could NEVER teach anyone anything.

Hahaha I feel ya. I don't candy coat anything. It gets me into trouble. lol

quote:
Originally posted by Gauss
Depends on situation, but I generally like to finish what I start.

Yeah same.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by bas
Dual exhaust tips on dual exhaust = QUAD EXHAUST = 300 gain in horsepower. Duh

quote:
Originally posted by bas
Undies with a dickhole aren't good for guys. Your balls can get caught in them. That's why I prefer to go over the gate instead of through the fence.

Old Post Apr-30-2008 18:03  Russia
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nefardec
Tranceaddict in tranning



Registered: Oct 2004
Location:

i get bored easily

good for deejaying/music collecting
bad for relationships


i hoard
good for deejaying/collecting
bad for wallet


i am obsessed with details
good for quality of work
bad for working with others, managing time


i am never satisfied
good for learning, work
bad for relationships, working with othrs


i am fiercely independent/resourceful
good for the hard times, for geting shit done
bad for networking and delegating, come across as arrogant


i am quiet
good for self-knowledge, contemplation, intense creative production
bad for making friends and business associates


i am very critical
good for my own work, for self improvement
bad for others, makes me seem elitist


i like to make everyone happy
good for one person
bad for the other

Old Post Apr-30-2008 18:28 
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david.michael
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Dayton, OH, USA

I'm in the same situation as Lebezniatnikov... with the added twist of me recently becoming tired of that and hitting a breaking point, a lot of it being due to a completely destructive marriage to a person of completely opposite personality type. It causes me to occasionally flip to the polar extreme as a self-protection mechanism... and, since people are just used to me being the "nice guy", any time I'm not, people think I'm a dick.

Old Post Apr-30-2008 18:28  United States
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UWM
mandroid



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Here

quote:
Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie
Being really full of yourself is probably just as much of a curse, no?


Gee-whiz!

Old Post Apr-30-2008 20:40 
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Lilith
Meowsies!



Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Maximum Security twilight home for cats

quote:
Originally posted by biznology
with friends and family i dont always use those same tools, partially as it is a different environment. at work people *have* to put up with you, in life its not so serious nor as goal focused. (not that work is always as goal focused as it ought to be)

but i think that the personal experience is much more of an inner struggle. you can put up a front at work to some extent, and while your friends and family may respect or love you more, they see through the weakness easier, for good and bad|

Yes, lot of it comes down to the same as a job though in terms of time, goals and management, which should be as important or more so as your career.
Jobs come and go, family takes a bit longer to get rid of (joke!)
Something I realised far too late and at a fairly heavy emotional cost I suppose but its just part of being human, we're not all perfect as sometimes we like to think we are. I did learn like most people that friends are fairly much just people you can hang out with but don't ever depend on them or centre your life around.
May sound nasty, but picking people you can rely on is much harder than simply picking through a resume of people you'd hire in business, but ultimately if they stuff you around too much, just drop them like a rock and don't waste your time on them... they just soak up too much time and energy and you'll have nothing left for yourself and very little to show for it.

Old Post Apr-30-2008 22:04 
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glass
SILLY HATS ONLY!



Registered: Jun 2005
Location: Washington D.C.

I have a double personality with a single edge.


Which is why I'm a cutter

Old Post Apr-30-2008 22:09  United States
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Lebezniatnikov
Stupidity Annoys Me



Registered: Feb 2004
Location: DC

quote:
Originally posted by Lebezniatnikov
A lot of my friends have commented that they were initially drawn to me because I'm a "nice" guy - but that isn't necessarily always a positive, and today has been a perfect example of that for me. I'm the kind of person who rarely puts myself first, and when I'm asked to do something for someone I rarely say no. Luckily I haven't really been taken advantage on that account yet, but I definitely have put myself in situations where I don't stand to gain from helping. Today I loaned my friend a pretty substantial sum of money, and to be frank, I don't really have anything to loan. I put myself in a pretty tight spot on the assumption that his spot is tighter. I trust him to the extent that I didn't even ask any questions as to why he needed it, just one to make sure I will be repaid sometime soon.


And after a $750 bill for car repairs today... I now know that it was indeed a bad idea to give someone else a loan, since I now may need one as well.


___________________

Old Post May-01-2008 04:33  United Nations
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gehzumteufel
In your ass



Registered: Nov 2005
Location: so cal

quote:
Originally posted by Lebezniatnikov
And after a $750 bill for car repairs today... I now know that it was indeed a bad idea to give someone else a loan, since I now may need one as well.

A wise friend once told me, never loan money you can't afford to lose. This is now the way in which I loan money to the few people close enough that I would actually loan money to.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by bas
Dual exhaust tips on dual exhaust = QUAD EXHAUST = 300 gain in horsepower. Duh

quote:
Originally posted by bas
Undies with a dickhole aren't good for guys. Your balls can get caught in them. That's why I prefer to go over the gate instead of through the fence.

Old Post May-01-2008 04:43  Russia
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Ang ' ela_ie
Gee whiz!



Registered: Jul 2004
Location: SF

quote:
Originally posted by UWM
Gee-whiz!


Muah!


___________________

Old Post May-02-2008 22:14  Egypt
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RapidFire
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Feb 2005
Location: toronto

short temper. its good because im not passive person, I dont let people walk all over me yet at the same time I tend to make rash and often cold decisions regarding people. it also leads to a lot of fights

Old Post May-03-2008 08:35  Serbia
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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Aspects of your personality that have a double edge.
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