 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
love_child
TA
Registered: Sep 2007
Location: Toronto
|
|
|
•••• entry-level douchebag
{INFANTUS JERKWADERUS} You’ve graduated from tool (and from college — barely) and are now an eager douchebag-in-training.
• You own a Nickelback album.
• It’s not gel, man. It’s $40 hair wax.
• You smell like an Abercrombie store.
• You’ve officially dubbed your friends “my boys.”
• Favorite word to scream: WHOOOOOO!
• You name your dog after a character from “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
• You spend most weekends at Power Plant Live!
• You talk about “Lost” as if it were “The Grapes of Wrath.”
• You pretend you know how to swirl and sniff wine.
• Trademark greeting: “Sup,” paired with one of those head nods.
• You manscape.
• Favorite scent: Axe body spray.
• The only songs you’ll sing at karaoke are by Journey.
• Ronald Reagan is your hero.
• You’re a Yankees fan.
• You pay a bar tab with a credit card and don’t leave a tip.
• Polo shirts are two times too small.
• You bar-golf in Federal Hill.
• You still “poke” people on Facebook.
• You always end an e-mail with the environmentally friendly reminder, “Don’t print this e-mail unless you really have to.”
• You’re pals with the prepared food team at Whole Foods.
celeb soul mates: Wilmer Valderrama; Keith Olbermann; Colin Farrell; Brody Jenner; Mario Lopez
Mid-grade douchebag {Brian Krista, b}
•••• mid-grade douchebag
{COLLARPOPPERUS FANATICUM} Well on your way to becoming a full-fledged douchebag but still working on defining your sense of entitlement.
• You call Frisbee golf “The sport of kings.”
• You own a message T-shirt with a double sexual entendre, i.e.: Ride south to Pen Island.
• You have a “Scarface” poster in your living room. You’re 29 years old.
• You’ve ever layered a T-shirt over a polo shirt.
• You still have a “W” sticker on your car.
• You are willing to vote for anyone Chuck Norris tells you to.
• Johnny Lawrence in “The Karate Kid” is your idol.
• Tattoos include a bald eagle, Chinese characters you can’t translate.
• You randomly mention your alma mater in conversation — just because it’s, you know, so impressive.
• You grow your hair to surfer/lax player length and then claim it’s not a new version of the mullet.
• You wear sunglasses indoors.
• You still listen to Creed.
• You call Preakness, “freakness.”
• You wear your three Livestrong bracelets — in the shower.
• Two words: trucker hat.
• Most of your credit card debt comes from PacSun.
• You squint in photos and while throwing up a gang sign.
• You work on your Great American Novel at Starbucks.
celeb soul mates: Carlos Mencia; John Mayer; Matthew McConaughey; Ty Pennington; Ashton Kutcher
Extreme douchebag {Brian Krista, b}
•••• the extreme douchebag
{MAXIMUS DOUCHEBAGUS} Everyone is beneath you — and your tight pink polo. And your hair is spiked as close to God as it can get.
• You consider Dane Cook a comic master.
• You never miss St. Patrick’s Day in Canton Square for the Port-A-Potty tipping.
• You’re from Long Island.
• You’ve actually uttered the phrase, “I’ve got secrets can’t leave Cancun.”
• You have a Bluetooth headset. When people look at you inquisitively as you talk to yourself, you point quickly to the headset and mouth, “I’m on the phone.”
• You always wear your artfully distressed Gamecocks hat. Backwards.
• You fervently believe, “These colors don’t run.”
• Ideal free time: Earnestly singing Jack Johnson songs while enjoying a bonfire on the beach.
• You think Tom Cruise is getting a bad rap.
• You don’t feel good about yourself unless you get spray-tanned four times a week.
• You, unironically, wear a dollar-sign chain necklace.
• You advocate a Baltimore homeless relocation program, instead of just giving them a buck or two.
• You use the word gay in a derogatory sense — after doing a workout with your heterosexual life mate.
• You call people “brah.”
• You bemoan the Baltimore Sports & Social Club’s girl-requirement.
• You constantly purse your lips inexplicably.
• You have a barbed-wire bicep tattoo — and aren’t in the Hells Angels or a UFC fighter.
celeb soul mates: Spencer Pratt; Dane Cook; Donald Trump; Ryan Seacrest; Adam Levine; Criss Angel; Nick Lachey
Last edited by love_child on Mar-04-2009 at 18:03
|
|
 Mar-04-2009 17:55 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Piano4444
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Montreal/Quebec
|
|
|
|
Mar-04-2009 19:30
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 04:52.
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
Contact Us - return to tranceaddict
Powered by: Trance Music & vBulletin Forums
Copyright ©2000-2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Privacy Statement / DMCA
|
maybe someone else can get it???
