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| quote: | Originally posted by Arbiter
I have no quarrel with love, it's marriage that I'm hostile to.
The way I see it, I'm a valuable commodity. It would be unethical for me to deny women the opportunity to freely compete for me on the open market.
Moreover, I have no economic incentive to do so. If I commit to an exclusive dealing arrangement, then I'm no longer on the market, and thus I do not benefit from the threat of competition. My partner's incentive to provide me with value is decreased proportionately to the marginal increase in the cost of my terminating the relationship (which is likely to be particularly high in my case, due to my financial situation). My partner assumes a reciprocal risk (though not necessarily an equivalent risk, since the cost of terminating the relationship is likely to vary between married partners). Consequently, it becomes a modified prisoner's dilemma. This kind of situation produces high transaction costs and is likely to lead to economically inefficient outcomes, which is one reason why such exclusive dealing arrangements are often (rightfully) prohibited or at least tightly regulated in other business contexts.
Additionally, even if were to I decide to change my mind later, game theory suggests I may be advantaged by postponing marriage (see, e.g., http://www.slate.com/id/2188684/). That said, my strong personal preference for preserving the opportunity to change my mind is one of the reasons I'd likely opt not to make such a commitment as marriage even if it weren't for all of the reasons discussed previously.
Finally, even if the result of my choices do eventually lead to my living a solitary life when elderly, that's something I'm quite comfortable with. I don't really get lonely in the sense that I have some abstract desire for more human contact. For me, loneliness is always tied to missing some specific individual. As a result, the risk of loneliness may actually be higher if I were to marry, since I might well experience considerable loneliness associated with that person's absence if I were to outlive them. Granted, that's a risk with any long-term relationship, marriage or no marriage. I've already been down that road, and I'm not in any particular hurry to go there again. |
The ultimate irony of course is that posts like these make me want to marry him more. did i say me? i meant us.
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