A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a shop window.

The passenger said geez "a little tap scared you so much?"

The driver replied, Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years!

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quote:

Originally posted by jupiterone a boy goes up to his jewish father and asks him for 30 dollars. the father turns to him and says, "20 dollars? what do you need 10 dollars for?"

hahahaha

quote:

Originally posted by netroM two 8s sit in a bar a 0 comes in one 8 to the other: "man that guy's belt is tight"

quote:

Originally posted by netroM two 0s sit in a bar a 8 comes in one 0 to the other: "man that guy's belt is tight"

you are welcome

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I am become Hoover, sucker of worlds.
R.I.P English..

Nou walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I had sex last night."

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Mix archive | Melbourne club guide

A blind man walks into a bar.

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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

What's the difference between a black guy and Batman? Batman can go out at night without Robbin.

A woman meets a black guy and invites him back to her place. She handcuffs herself to the bed and screams, "Do what you black men do best!". The black guy grabs the TV and runs!

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

quote:

Originally posted by Chris Crossland A woman meets a black guy and invites him back to her place. She handcuffs herself to the bed and screams, "Do what you black men do best!". The black guy grabs the TV and runs!

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> S u s h i p u n k . P h o t o g r a p h y <

quote:

Originally posted by SkyHigh you are welcome

I found it much funnier when a friend told it the way I posted it.

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quote:

Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit Why did moses roam the desert for 40 years? because he dropped a penny.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN What do you get when you pass a cat over a circular saw? An erection.

replace "cat" with dead baby for decent dead baby joke.



how do you make a little girl cry?

wipe your bloody dick off on her teddy bear