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| quote: | Originally posted by malek
look, what if, I came to your house and started telling you that the way your family is organized, the way you treat your wife and your children is basically flawed and wrong.
That my ways of dealing with this issues are the best because..., well because they're the best.
This implies that your family, your fathers' family, your ancestors, and everyone else in your community/city/state have always been wrong and that I am right...
what would you tell him? I think you would tell him to fuck off  |
What would I slag him off for? If I were sure my way was right, I wouldn't need to feel offended in the first place.
I should listen to what he's got to say. Just because my ancestors have been doing something (or my community, for that matter), it doesn't mean that it is right, that it should be right or that I should cling to the traditions for some reason. That's what outsiders are good for: they see things we can't see because we're used to it.
Secondly, I'd need to understand why he's saying that and how he's saying that. Someone who's too passionate about his views is often the one who doesn't have much reasoning to back his opinion up, or who still has many issues to deal with, and a hostile reaction would do nothing but get the situation worse.
Thirdly, I've got to think about it and check whether there's anything to be changed or not. If I disagree with what he said, I will keep doing things my way.
| quote: | Originally posted by malek
You guys in Brazil enjoy the Carnival of Rio, this muslim/Christian guy who comes to live in Brazil, says its morally wrong and that it should be banned. But you guys in Brazil have had the Carnival for so long and its part of being Brazilian... wouldn't you tell the guy that he's way off?? wouldn't you feel insulted by this immigrant? That he's not trying to change himself to fit in the society but instead tries to change the society so that it pleases his belifs?!! |
Once again, there's no insult. If I thought his words are unfair, I should explain him why things work that way. If he didn't accept the explanation, there's nothing I could do. It's his problem, I'm not necessarily the one who's got to solve it. I can show him the other side, but that's it. You're right to think that he should fit in the society rather than having the society pleasing him, but if he's not mature enough to realise it, I shouldn't be even more immature to want him being the way I want him to be. I've got my own mistakes to work on.
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