For me true love is when I stopped thinking about me and started thinking about us.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee no, you are 100% wrong. love takes work. you have to actively make the decision to love someone...none of this "it just happens" bullshit. the biggest misconception about true love is that in the beginning phase of a relationship, when you're all smitten and acting like a retard and doing things you don't normally do, that you are "in love", but realistically, that is anything BUT love. that is just your body physically & uncontrollably reacting to hormones. it's when that honeymoon phase dies down, and you make the choice to continue to put forth the effort into loving that person, that it becomes true love.

But it's also when continuing to put forth the effort is worth it, and you'd rather be slaving away to make it work than just saying "screw it". That's love, imo. It's surprising how many people will say that they're in love with someone, but never put in the time to make it work out. That's not love, imo.

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buttsekz > truelove...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee no, you are 100% wrong. love takes work. you have to actively make the decision to love someone...none of this "it just happens" bullshit. the biggest misconception about true love is that in the beginning phase of a relationship, when you're all smitten and acting like a retard and doing things you don't normally do, that you are "in love", but realistically, that is anything BUT love. that is just your body physically & uncontrollably reacting to hormones. it's when that honeymoon phase dies down, and you make the choice to continue to put forth the effort into loving that person, that it becomes true love.

Well I have been in long-term relationships where I've been in love. And sure it does take work to keep it alive. I'm not saying it's easy. You do have to consciously work to put an effort into it and keep loving someone, but it's not a hard decision, because you're in love with them and incapable of being selfish in relation to that person (at least that's the way I feel)... To me if the work really feels "hard" then it isn't love. Making sacrifices, changing myself as a person etc etc were all piss-easy when I was in love. The only thing I did find hard was letting someone go because I felt she didn't love me and deserved to be with someone she loved.

I, for one, know that I can't make a conscious decision to fall in love with someone from scratch. And I know I wouldn't get in a relationship with someone I'm not already in love with. I don't think I can cause something like that to start by sheer effort.

I can't sit down after meeting someone and check a few boxes on my spreadsheet... "hmm let's not the best sense of humour, nice personality, she's got blond hair, I don't really like that, but she is rich.... hmm on the balance I think I'll fall in love with her".

I have a few friends that are like that. They make an intellectual decision to get in relationships and don't seem too distraught after break-ups. They're just looking for a partner to fill a role. Once they've done their interviews and figured out the most suited applicant they offer them the job, if it doesn't work out they let them go.... I don't think that's the phenomenon that centuries of artists, musicians, writers and poets have been so passionate about.

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"my son will be a gienues(sp?)" - Originally posted by Googooly
"many species of bear give blowjobs." - Originally posted by Sunsnail.. NOW CONFIRMED BY PHOTO EVIDENCE!
"astroboy is brave and gentle and wise." - Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
"ew! i wouldn't go anywhere near a homeless dudes butthole... not even if i was sodomizing him with a poison ivy cactus dildo" - Originally posted by lücid
"also can someone post the link to my mom's forum, thank you!" - Originally posted by miamitrance04
"dude man its not me its what the world does to me. Trust me I'm a normal person people just constantly fuck with me." Originally posted by ********
"I can see Lira getting a hard-on already. And believe me, Brazilian ass rape is the worst." - Originally posted by Meat187

Last edited by astroboy on Dec-11-2006 at 23:35

Hmmmmmyes, the green one also has a point.


<---thankful she's got the whole package.

quote:

Originally posted by astroboy Well I have been in long-term relationships where I've been in love. And sure it does take work to keep it alive. I'm not saying it's easy. You do have to consciously work to put an effort into it and keep loving someone, but it's not a hard decision, because you're in love with them and incapable of being selfish in relation to that person (at least that's the way I feel)... To me if the work really feels "hard" then it isn't love. Making sacrifices, changing myself as a person etc etc were all piss-easy when I was in love. The only thing I did find hard was letting someone go because I felt she didn't love me and deserved to be with someone she loved. I, for one, know that I can't make a conscious decision to fall in love with someone from scratch. And I know I wouldn't get in a relationship with someone I'm not already in love with. I don't think I can cause something like that to start by sheer effort. I can't sit down after meeting someone and check a few boxes on my spreadsheet... "hmm let's not the best sense of humour, nice personality, she's got blond hair, I don't really like that, but she is rich.... hmm on the balance I think I'll fall in love with her". I have a few friends that are like that. They make an intellectual decision to get in relationships and don't seem too distraught after break-ups. They're just looking for a partner to fill a role. Once they've done their interviews and figured out the most suited applicant they offer them the job, if it doesn't work out they let them go.... I don't think that's the phenomenon that centuries of artists, musicians, writers and poets have been so passionate about.

you're still missing the whole point. i said AFTER the honeymoon phase dies down, that's when you have to decide if you still really want to be with that person, despite the fact that things aren't as exciting any more, and that now you know she has foot odor and gas in the mornings and can't balance a checkbook with a gun to her head...

i didn't mean sit with someone at dinner and go down your checklist of superficial things like "money" or "blonde hair".

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

quote:

Originally posted by astroboy Well I have been in long-term relationships where I've been in love. And sure it does take work to keep it alive. I'm not saying it's easy. You do have to consciously work to put an effort into it and keep loving someone, but it's not a hard decision, because you're in love with them and incapable of being selfish in relation to that person (at least that's the way I feel)... To me if the work really feels "hard" then it isn't love. Making sacrifices, changing myself as a person etc etc were all piss-easy when I was in love. The only thing I did find hard was letting someone go because I felt she didn't love me and deserved to be with someone she loved. I, for one, know that I can't make a conscious decision to fall in love with someone from scratch. And I know I wouldn't get in a relationship with someone I'm not already in love with. I don't think I can cause something like that to start by sheer effort. I can't sit down after meeting someone and check a few boxes on my spreadsheet... "hmm let's not the best sense of humour, nice personality, she's got blond hair, I don't really like that, but she is rich.... hmm on the balance I think I'll fall in love with her". I have a few friends that are like that. They make an intellectual decision to get in relationships and don't seem too distraught after break-ups. They're just looking for a partner to fill a role. Once they've done their interviews and figured out the most suited applicant they offer them the job, if it doesn't work out they let them go.... I don't think that's the phenomenon that centuries of artists, musicians, writers and poets have been so passionate about.

I had to read that twice just to understand it, it was so deep. But on the whole, I agree. I don't understand how people can slip in and out of relationships so often, etc. It's all based on an impersonal business decision. lol, I hate minds like that.

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quote:

Originally posted by Slylee you're still missing the whole point. i said AFTER the honeymoon phase dies down, that's when you have to decide if you still really want to be with that person, despite the fact that things aren't as exciting any more, and that now you know she has foot odor and gas in the mornings and can't balance a checkbook with a gun to her head... i didn't mean sit with someone at dinner and go down your checklist of superficial things like "money" or "blonde hair".

Yeah that was a bit facetious of me, I know you're smart enough that you didn't mean the superficial stuff.

But generally I do agree with you. Once the infatuation is over you know you love the person if the flaws you start to notice don't make a difference.

___________________
"my son will be a gienues(sp?)" - Originally posted by Googooly
"many species of bear give blowjobs." - Originally posted by Sunsnail.. NOW CONFIRMED BY PHOTO EVIDENCE!
"astroboy is brave and gentle and wise." - Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
"ew! i wouldn't go anywhere near a homeless dudes butthole... not even if i was sodomizing him with a poison ivy cactus dildo" - Originally posted by lücid
"also can someone post the link to my mom's forum, thank you!" - Originally posted by miamitrance04
"dude man its not me its what the world does to me. Trust me I'm a normal person people just constantly fuck with me." Originally posted by ********
"I can see Lira getting a hard-on already. And believe me, Brazilian ass rape is the worst." - Originally posted by Meat187

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy these are wise words guys. liisten to me. IGK may have the right idea

i dated a 16 year old whne i was 23.. it was fun

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee so clovis and i were just briefly discussing "true love", and i've come to the conclusion that no matter who you end up with, you are still making sacrifices (about things u want in a partner) and need to prioritize your needs. what do u need most? trust? someone you can depend on? some who intellectually stimulates you like no other person can (yet they keep you on your toes a lot, which, to me, is NOT true love)? am i just being a pessimist about love? i really think that true love is about prioritizing your needs and meeting them... discuss.

umm...i think true love is when you love each other unconditionally and you respect each other. you want to make them feel good (and for the dirties reading this, not just sexually!), etc. i could go on and on. it's also about reciprocation.

my needs... trust, honesty, someone i know is there for me and respects me.

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Originally posted by inconspicuous AndreaCKY772. just. so. dumb.

and all of these hollywood marriages aren't helping send a positive message about relationships out there.

how in the hell do you marry someone and divorce them in less than 5 months or so?

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quote:

Originally posted by inconspicuous AndreaCKY772. just. so. dumb.