quote:

Originally posted by dance2dabeat as long as you know you have tried to be a good friend...that's all that really matters. If the person is not appreciative of that..then they obviously dont deserve have you as a friend.

Right on Kel - well put

Personally i make it a point to NEVER 2nd guess myself when it comes
to my loyalty/commitment to a TRUE friend.
If i know i've given my all, then i can live with any decision in peace.

just remember

friends are friends
pals are pals
but buddies sleep together

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess the way i look at it is this way. i always give 110% to all people in terms of friendship. if i can help anyone in anyway, i will. but there is only so much a person can do, then it's up to the other person. i sometimes feel let down and figure my efforts are for nothing. but in all honestly, i will do the same thing over again.

that is true, marge. you do give your all when it comes to even just random 'stray dogs' like myself. hehe!

over the years i have had to evaluate and re-evaluate many so-called 'friendships'. due to my extensive travels in the past i had so many 'friends' i could hardly keep up with them any more. i used to be quite the social butterfly.

things have changed now though...over the last 3 years i have started isolating myself. i have cut certain ppl out of my life and cut off contact basically to everyone i used to know except for 3 people with whom i am in touch with once or twice a year. this, what i like to call the 'weeding out process', has shown me who is a friend and who isn't. this 'exercise' was especially an eye-opener when it came to ppl i wasn't so close to begin with but have now turned out to be more important in my life.

within this time i have also re-evaluated myself, my values and principles. i now know who i am and what i want out of certain relations. the saying that you have certain friends for certain reasons is definitely true. i guess i just categorize them and allocate my time to them accordingly which is next to none right now. now, this doesn't mean that i don't value these not-so-close few, however, i do need more time to just be myself and figure things out. also, my life has been through such upheaval that i just needed to focus on myself. i needed this time to just breathe. i am definitely a lot more selective these days as to whom i let in closer and who will never stand a chance. too many bloody noses along the way ... it's okay to be a good person and to be 'nice' but you need to know where to draw the line b/c naivite won't get you very far. you can give and you definitely should but you should never give yourself up along the way!

know yourself & be good to yourself then you will also attract the 'right' people and receive the respect you deserve and others deserve to receive in return!

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life's too short~simply do!

Its very important for yourself in life to realize who are your actual friends, and who are merely common acquaintances.

Too many ppl foolishly come to believe common (club) acquaintances are in fact their friends, and then they are surprised, shocked and hurt when they do something they consider betrayal or unbecoming of a friend.

But they were never infact your good friend, merely someone you knew semi- or reasonably well and had no issues with. We all need to know the reality of our relationships so we do not expect too much and get hurt where we shouldnt be getting hurt.

I find the net blurs the typical lines of when true friendship is forming and confuses the issue for many ppl.

Jem

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TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

quote:

Originally posted by Max Q I've struggled with this since I started here on TA... struggled with trying to see and be with everyone I know and have met the past couple of years. For those of you who know me, I do like to be friendly with everyone. I genuinely do care about the people around me and my smiles to all of you are definitely not fake. But yeah... it's definitely hard to have many good friends when there's not enough hours in a day/week/month to cultivate a good friendship. When I met everyone here on TA I could not believe that there were this many cool people who liked the same music as I did and who were all nice and fun to party with, so that makes it extra-hard to have to pick-'n'-choose (for lack of better term) your friends. I know it's not a conscious decision -- it does boil down to who you really click with and who you don't. I think the main thing is that people should understand that being an acquaintance and/or a party friend is not a bad thing either. I really do want to be good friends with everyone, but I have to accept the fact that I cannot emotionally/physically/mentally handle all of that. (But it IS nice when an acquaintance turns into a deeper friendship! And there are a few people here that I've had the pleasure of doing this with.) .. so Margs, to answer your question... I personally believe you can definitely have too many good/close friends, but having lots of people who you like hanging with from time to time is good too.

I was about the post my thoughts regarding this topic, but you took the words right out of my mouth, I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for doing all the work/thinking for me Max

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess i sometimes feel let down and figure my efforts are for nothing. but in all honestly, i will do the same thing over again.

Margs, I have been here SEVERAL times before.

I have learned in the past that you have to start drawing the line little by little. It isn't an easy thing to do, but it has to be done. I have stopped being friends with people in the past cuz it was always me giving 110% and I didn't feel the effort at all and you know what, it was for the best (for many reasons). I am not saying you have to stop being friends, but if you are consistantly feeling let down, draw back a little and see what happens to the friendship. Only by doing that will you have your answer.

Hope everything works out for you!

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quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess So what are your thoughts on this? Is it possible that you just don't need to meet new people cuz you know too many already?

YES!!