This idea that you have to love and respect your parents is simply incorrect. Sure, there is a genetic predisposition for parents to love their children... that is necessary for the survival of the species. In turn, as children most people love their parents because they provide what is necessary to survive. As we age and can fend for ourselves this all becomes moot. Once of sufficient age, strenght, and skill we no longer need our parent's support to survive. It is at this point that love toward one's parents becomes unnecessary.... it is at this point we either choose to love and respect them or we do not. Some people warent love and respect, others do not, parents are no exception. I can certainly understand why this may be difficult for someone who has been blessed with good parents to understand, however, that does not make it any less true.

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Originally posted by RickyM you're just a shit version of Moral Hazard. At least he knows what he's talking about.

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN lol, i love it when moral feels the need to lay the smack down

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Originally posted by igottaknow

Most relevant post ev4r!!111one

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Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike Social outcasts are often of the opinion that they must have a drink before being able to loosen up with their inhibitions, thus being able to have a good time. There's a word that sums up this sort of behaviour, and that word is 'reject.'

strokwn

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NOBODY DOES THIS ANYMORE

Whether his father beat him or not..he's an adult now...capable of love, forgiveness, and understanding. EVERYone is worthy of forgiveness, and I'm a firm believer in it. It shows maturity, strong character and a true ability to love. People always have their reasons for doing things...forgiveness doesn't justify it, but it lets that person know you at least understand where they're coming from, and it helps you to move on and be a better person than they were.

There comes a time when you have to practice some understanding, instead of playing "poor me, someone was a jerk to me". You'll never learn or grow if you can't step out of that mindset. Another person's actions towards you should NEVER dictate how you will treat other people....especially when you've reached an age where you're able to think and reflect on things.

Why would you choose to be angry and spiteful?? It's such a waste of energy.

Last edited by Silky Johnson on Sep-26-2006 at 15:29

group hug anyone?

so what did daddy do?

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Originally posted by jennypie Whether his father beat him or not..he's an adult now...capable of love, forgiveness, and understanding. EVERYone is worthy of forgiveness, and I'm a firm believer in it. It shows maturity, strong character and a true ability to love. People always have their reasons for doing things...forgiveness doesn't justify it, but it lets that person know you at least understand where they're coming from, and it helps you to move on and be a better person than they were. There comes a time when you have to practice some understanding, instead of playing "poor me, someone was a jerk to me". You'll never learn or grow if you can't step out of that mindset. Another person's actions towards you should NEVER dictate how you will treat other people....especially when you've reached an age where you're able to think and reflect on things. Why would you choose to be angry and spiteful?? It's such a waste of energy.

Jenny, I don't think the thread writer ever stated he was abused by his father, if I'm not mistaken that is an abstract example someone added to the discussion.

I fear you suffer some dillusion if you truely believe the actions of others toward you should not influance how you will treat people. We are products of our experiences. All we know is derived from what we have experienced and all we do is based on what we know. Without question how one has been treated by persons in their past not only will but must influence how they conduct their own affairs. How those past experiences influence one's behaviour is largely up to the individual but there is no way one can simply ignore their past.

BTW, I agree forgiveness is often healthy but it is by no means necessary and in some cases simply unjustifyable.

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Originally posted by RickyM you're just a shit version of Moral Hazard. At least he knows what he's talking about.

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN lol, i love it when moral feels the need to lay the smack down

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Originally posted by Slylee Actually, my father has been the single most positive influence on me out of everyone else in my life. I love and respect him more than anything. I knew you were going to assume that I have issues with my father, but if you read, you would notice that I didn’t once say that I was speaking from personal experience. It’s just that I'm not living under a rock (as you seem to be), and I’m aware of the fact that there are millions of unfit parents out there in this world who should have never been able to enjoy the gift of a baby in the first place, and who deserve no respect at all. i was just trying to point out that no one in here seemed to think for a minute about the fact that we don’t have a clue about the thread starter’s father and what he is like. For all we know, he could be a wife beater, beating the kid’s mom every day for the last 10 years. If that was the case, would you still be lecturing him/us about how we need to respect our parents just because they gave us life? Think about what I’m saying before you respond. I don’t think you’re getting my point. While I don’t agree with emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, I also don’t think that it’s a ticket for the abused person to become a complete fuckup for the rest of his or her life, blaming the abuse, so I agree with whomever was trying to make that point. There comes a point where you need to take control again and make the decision to not let the abuse control your life any more. But I’m sure that’s easier said than done.

Ok, first of all i apologize for assuming that you had issues with your dad.

I get your point about not loving your parents just because they your parents because i say the same thing about my relatives whom i think try to stick their noses in everyones personal issues because indian tradition calls for respecting all elders no matter what.

My argument wasnt refering to people whove been beaten and abused for no reason by their parents but to the other ppl who havent had any problems yet bitch their parents out because they think they were to intelligent and grown up to be subjected to rules and regulations. Regarding those who have been abused, beaten watever, theres a difference between loving them and respecting them and i was just saying that ppl should be grown up enough now to learn from their parents mistakes and make sure not to repeat them with their kids rather than saying such horrible things like 'I wish my dad dies'.

I dont know what its like to come from a family where your abused by your parents nor to i know anyone else who does but im pretty sure that ppl sometimes overlook the fact that bad parents might have gone through some messed up things in life that fucked their heads up because they were emotionally weak deal with it. Not that its an excuse to rape your kid but people sometimes only look at one side of the story.

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Originally posted by raveed Ok, first of all i apologize for assuming that you had issues with your dad.

judging how defensive she got, she probably does but that would be an entire thread unto itself

Actually, the only issue I have with my father is his self centered, gold digging wife lol

I will admit to having problems with a stepdad though, who was very much a part of my childhood for about 5 years. He was very manipulative and physically abusive to my mom and me, but it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, we weren't tortured and beaten and raped every day, but he had his share of abusive moments and she finally left him thank god. But to be perfectly honest, I have forgiven him (Jennypie speaks the truth). I won’t get into the details of why, but he was actually at my sister’s wedding about 3 years ago, and I saw him and said hi, and I can honestly say I wasn’t like furious or anything. Mt attitude was very indifferent. My mother, on the other hand, was deeply hurt that my sister invited him. But I have completely just let that go. He has problems and I feel sorry for him. I don’t see a point in wasting so much time and energy hating this guy who was in my life for like a second, in the grand scheme of things.

I’d say most of my little “issues” are from my mom, not my dad, or even my stepdad. But that IS a whole other story that will hopefully be worked out some day.

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone