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| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
Actually, you're dead wrong here. It is important for people to cope however they want to cope. To make health decisions for themselves. Set their own priorities. Etc. Not everyone is looking to prolong their life, and what makes one person's last days more pleasant is completely different and unique from the next person's. Only the sick person can decide what is important for them.
Furthermore, there is a big problem with the belief that ill people need to be positive. Part of the experience of illness is accepting and working through negative feelings, feeling like shit, etc. Illness is an extremely meaningful and transformative time for people, and they should not be denied the opportunity to just be sick and take the bad with the good.
False hope and false cheerfulness may actually make sick people feel worse. Why do sick people have to be positive? They're fucking sick! The whole notion of people staying positive when they're not well is more a reflection of other people's discomfort with illness/death/whatever. |
I haven't been studying it like you have, but from my personal experiences with people who are dying, those who have a positive attitude and aren't wallowing in self-pity seem to maintain a better quality of life, and they also seem to live longer. This is only based on personal observations however.
My mother for example, has terminal cancer. Instead of sitting around crying and moping that she is going to die, she is continuing to live her life as normal as possible and attempting to stay as positive as she can. The doctors have been amazed at how healthy she has been and they believe she is going to live a lot longer than they first anticipated.
On the other hand, and this is no lie, my mother's husband also has terminal cancer. He has been moping, feeling sorry for himself, and feeling miserable. He stopped sleeping, and pretty much lost it. He was admitted to the hospital this past Thursday and they expect that he will die within the next couple of weeks.
While my mother's husband's cancer is probably a bit more advanced than hers, he wasn't that far ahead of her when they were first diagnosed. He has seemed to deteriorate at a lightning speed compared to my mother.
The same thing happened to my aunt. She died of cancer several years ago. When she was first diagnosed, they gave her less than a year to live. She ended up living for 7 years, and during that time, she went on living like normal and had a very positive outlook on life.
When I was working for Sunnyside in Kitchener (you may or may not be familiar.... an "old age home"), the nurses would explain to me that those who were pleasant all the time usually stuck around longer. I was only 12 or 13, and after having been berated by the meanest old man on earth, a nurse took me aside and said "he wont live for a lot longer. He is dying, and the meaner they get, the sooner they die." Again, an observation, but it seems to be consistent.
I know I have read some medical journal that talked about the benefits of maintaining a positive outlook when ill. I will look to see if I can find it or something similar.
I am not disputing what you're saying... I would wager you know more than I do on the subject considering it isn't a focus of study for me. Like I said, I am basing my comments primarily on personal observations (which admittedly could be completely coincidental), however I do remember reading some things supporting my argument.
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