Talk about TV causing the mind to go numb. Timothy Dumouchel alleges cable TV has forced him and his family to be addicted to the tube, which has in turn caused his wife to be fat and his kids to be lazy. Now the West Bend, Indiana man wants retribution from his cable company, and has threatened to sue them. It seems Dumouchel is peeved because his cable company continued to offer him service free of charge for four years after he tried to get it cancelled. But this simple clerical error has evolved into so much more, at least in this man’s mind. Dumouchel claims his family not only continued to watch the programs they weren’t paying for, but watched them no incessantly that he now smokes and drinks every day and his wife has become a two-ton Tessy. He asserts he’s suing because the cable company didn’t let him make a decision as to what was best for him and his clan.

For his troubles, Dumouchel wants $5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free Internet service from Charter Communications to settle what he says will be a small claims suit. Evidently, he believes the Net will somehow turn his family onto an active lifestyle.

As you might expect, a Charter spokesman isn’t taking the lawsuit seriously, saying the company considers its service to be a powerful entertainment product, but certainly not medically addictive. Still, the company isn’t surprised by the lawsuit. And why should they be. After all, in the land of the free and home of the brave, every brave soul is free to be as stupid and misguided as they desire to be.

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I am become Hoover, sucker of worlds.
R.I.P English..