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Ok... uuuh... dude... stop making that noise man..
first one sounds like you just pressed random keys on the keyboard, there is no definite drumbeat or melody, jsut random shit. And the second one, which is supposed to be a new and improved version of the old one, doesn't sound anything like it :S although it also sounds bad 
I don't mean to be annoying, but a melody has to have.. well.. melody and rhytm! not just random notes played on the keyboard (unless of course it sounds good by accident, but this doesn't ). You should learn music theory, or at least listen to some music so you get a sense of what sounds good and what doesn't sound right. If you can't *feel* the difference, then maybe music isn't for you..
There is a thing called harmony, and that means that the note that comes next in the song *matches* the previous note. Songs have keys, like C major or B minor, and each of these keys include notes that sound in a certain way when played together in a song. Not everything sounds good, or *right*, and that's because the note you are using isn't included in that key (This is a very basic explanation, of course there are exceptions, but the best way to find out what sounds good is just to listen!)
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