"Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."
Homer

"Marge, I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming."
Homer

OK!

Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.

Homer: You're...selling what, now?

Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.

Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]

Apu: He's got me there.

APU: " I HAVE KINDLY ASKED YOU MANY TIMES NOT TO OPEN UP MY MERCHANDISE!!! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO KINDLY, ASK YOU NOT TO OPEN UP MY MERCHANDISE AGAIN!"

APU: thank you, come again.

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ermmm ummmmm ermmmmmmm....

Homer: mmmmm donuts mmmmm...*drools*

___________________
ermmm ummmmm ermmmmmmm....

homer: bart, when a woman say nothing is wrong it means EVERYTHING is wrong.

homer: daaaaaaauhhh!!!

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"Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist but he is not a porn star."

"Homer (drunk): Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him."

"Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get."

___________________
The walking discography.

quote:

Leslie Nielsen: Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

quote:

Originally posted by GrimReaper "Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist but he is not a porn star." "Homer (drunk): Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him." "Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get."

hahaha made me laugh so hard!!!

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ermmm ummmmm ermmmmmmm....

Lisa: Look on the bright side, Dad. Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for opportunity?

Homer: Yes. Crisitunity!

"Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!"

"Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!"

"Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden."

"Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely."

"Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it."

___________________
The walking discography.

quote:

Leslie Nielsen: Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

homer: You Did whaaaaaaaaaaat?
mr. burns: excellent!

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quote:

Originally posted by Meat187 Because "American Football" is neither played with a ball nor with your feet. It should be called Handegg.