My wife and I went out to lunch with a friend of mine today. He brought his kid so that his wife, who has a cold, could get some sleep. The kid is just barely three years old. We decided that pizza would be a good choice so we headed out to the local parlor.

We ordered a 16" pizza with split toppings, a family size Caesar salad, three sodas, and juice for the kid. The waitress bought us our drinks a few minutes later and the kid looked at his dad and said, "Why didn't I get soda?" His dad responded, "Because."

The kid's retort?

"That's not a good answer."

I, thinking that I could help, told him, "The sugar in soda isn't good for you, little guy."

I don't think anyone in the immediate vicinity would have ever expected in a million years to hear what the little bastard said to me next.

"I'm not little. And I was talking to my dad, doo-doo head, not you. If I wanted you to talk, I would have talked to you."

I repeat - he is just barely three years old.

The man sitting with his wife at the booth across from ours sprayed the water he was drinking everywhere, his wife cried from laughing so hard, my wife damn near fell out of her seat, the kid's dad sat there staring with his mouth open in utter disbelief, and I turned five or six shades of red.

So, like I said: I got pwned by a three year old.

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