I am a big fan of the original piano melody composed by Debussy. Therefore, the pressure is on big time.

The mood of the track initially is a steady driving flavor; confusing me when I think of Clair De Lune.

Then, you start to introduce the orchestral parts like atmospheric pads over the rythm. Unfortunately, the orchestral section is not your own work, I heard it somewhere before. Who cares... this is a "bootleg" remix. However, the breakdown is entirely in this fractured segment of the orchestral piece. It contrasts terribly with the driving beat coupled with the grimy bassline. I love driving trance, but certain contrasts just EERk me, and I feel that this is more than personal taste talking here.

The breakdown is just too bleeeeeeeeping loooooong. Then you butchered the song by playing segments of it over the continuation of the orchestral piece. DUDE, SHORTED THE BREAKDOWN FOR CRYING A POOL OF TEARS. You are not doing either genre any justice.

The post-breakdown is just the same as in the beginning, except that you EVENTUALLY let the remainder of the song play over the same loop. The bassline doesn't match the bassline of the orchestra!! There were several times where the tempo of the orchetra was NOT in sync with the trance beat and it totally fudged things to oblivion. The seventh-circle-of-flinging-poo-on-the-MOna-Lisa was when you sidechained the orchestra over the hypnotic mayhem -- it was your only hope at estabilishing rythmic coherence over the tempo variations and melodic lines that were unsyncopated. I felt like I was letting a trance-loop play continuously and was turning the knob of my sister's CD player to the rythm in the next room. Twas maddening.

Then you beat me senseless with an outro that showed no variation. I am officially looking at my post and appauled that such harsh words are flowing from my fingertips. THere has to be a reason for my madness... THis is madness!

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...On college-driven hiatus...

lol thats the kind of feedback we need. all points noted

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Okay...

First thing: the orchestral part of the track has *MAJOR* time-stretch problems. It sounds like something done on the fly in Ableton for a liveset or something. This is really what the track as a whole sounds like, actually.

Basically it sounds like you didn't have many ideas of your own, so you decided to rely on the Debussy composition to carry the entire track. But doing that just makes it sound gimmicky. You need to think about what you can do to make this track more unique, like add more synths in there, or do something more with the orchestra instead of just dropping it in as a breakdown.

When warping strings and the like switch to Complex mode.

A very innocent way to ruin one of the greatest pieces of music ever. Debussy was seen as a kinda "Punk" composer and now you take his ideas and make them into something formulaic.

All you have done is add a very eJay-esque drum loop, another from a record and a bass line that just doesn't do anything.

Last edited by JakeC on Mar-13-2008 at 11:05

there is a lot of room for improvement. Jake spelled it out better than i possibly could so i will just add to it that It is a really good idea, but not in this current incarnation. it is on the "raw (but good) idea" stage, and now you need to put in the actual work and efford.

sounds like a walt disney tune with a bassline

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quote:

Originally posted by celestial thug there is a lot of room for improvement. Jake spelled it out better than i possibly could so i will just add to it that It is a really good idea, but not in this current incarnation. it is on the "raw (but good) idea" stage, and now you need to put in the actual work and efford.

Thanks. Yea we know its far from anything good but we just wanted to put it up and hear what suggestions can be made and you guys have been helpful . thanks

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quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Okay... First thing: the orchestral part of the track has *MAJOR* time-stretch problems. It sounds like something done on the fly in Ableton for a liveset or something. This is really what the track as a whole sounds like, actually. Basically it sounds like you didn't have many ideas of your own, so you decided to rely on the Debussy composition to carry the entire track. But doing that just makes it sound gimmicky. You need to think about what you can do to make this track more unique, like add more synths in there, or do something more with the orchestra instead of just dropping it in as a breakdown.

Spot on

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yep liking the beat, defo stands out enough for me but id look into the percussion a bit more and get some cymbals panned and a harder snare in there.

the best bit for me was about 4.26 to 4.40 when the main orchestral is looped wih the arp baseline...just keep practising : )