I had something happen today that has made me think about aspects of my life that are both beneficial as well as detrimental to me - namely that I'm competitive.

This has served me well quite often, like today - I had handed in a second exam for one of my courses after receiving the first one back weeks earlier with a comment that read "I think you are capable of much better." The exam grade was a B-, but the fact that the professor thought I could do better stuck with and really bothered me. I got my second exam back today, got an A+ on it, and not only did the professor write on my exam that he thought I had a real talent for this kind of writing and that he was proud of me, but he also held me after class to let me know for sure how well he thought I did, and to try and offer some advice as far as getting into grad school.

It felt great, but being challenged/competing also has a real ugly side for me, one which the majority of you are all too familiar with - I engage in arguments that are often times pointless and that would be better left alone than perpetuated. It doesn't just happen on the internets, it happens with some of my closest friends too. I don't like it when I see myself engaging in these kinds of activities, yet sometimes I find myself doing it without even thinking about what's going on. It is easily the one area of my personality in which I feel like I have the most improvement to do, and I guess just realizing how this kind of thing can be both good and bad for me was kind of an "epiphany" of sorts.

So I put the question to you guys, do you have anything like this that you see in your own life (something that can both help and hurt you)? If so, is the negative aspect something you do reflexively, but the positive seem like something you really have to work at? Does it bother you that there are times when it seems like the negative aspects of the trait are reflexive, rather than rationally deliberated upon and chosen?



This has been todays "Self Help" thread brought to you by RJT and Stewart Smalley - because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.

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Hah, funny cause I'm almost the complete opposite. I mean, I definitely can be really competitive from time to time but I'm just really fucking laid back. Very positive in that I deal with stress, stressful situations, and pressure very very well. It helps me in leadership roles and I like to think that I'm a pretty good boss because of it. Like, I can probably count on one hand the number of people in my entire life that have seen me truly angry.

While I like that, with it comes with a tendency to avoid confrontation. I'm not a pushover really, but people definitely try to take advantage of that fact. Not to mention that I'm not terribly ambitious, and I know that. The problem is that I feel like I should get fired up about things more often, but I truly become and ugly person when I'm angry, and I really do'nt like myself being like that. Last time I really got into a fight with someone was with my (now ex-)girlfriend, and while I don't remember what the argument was even about I remember just absolutely loathing myself for being so weak for weeks afterwards.

Good topic, bout time we had some intelligent and introspective discussion around here

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Originally posted by RJT I had something happen today that has made me think about aspects of my life that are both beneficial as well as detrimental to me - namely that I'm competitive. This has served me well quite often, like today - I had handed in a second exam for one of my courses after receiving the first one back weeks earlier with a comment that read "I think you are capable of much better." The exam grade was a B-, but the fact that the professor thought I could do better stuck with and really bothered me. I got my second exam back today, got an A+ on it, and not only did the professor write on my exam that he thought I had a real talent for this kind of writing and that he was proud of me, but he also held me after class to let me know for sure how well he thought I did, and to try and offer some advice as far as getting into grad school. It felt great, but being challenged/competing also has a real ugly side for me, one which the majority of you are all too familiar with - I engage in arguments that are often times pointless and that would be better left alone than perpetuated. It doesn't just happen on the internets, it happens with some of my closest friends too. I don't like it when I see myself engaging in these kinds of activities, yet sometimes I find myself doing it without even thinking about what's going on. It is easily the one area of my personality in which I feel like I have the most improvement to do, and I guess just realizing how this kind of thing can be both good and bad for me was kind of an "epiphany" of sorts. So I put the question to you guys, do you have anything like this that you see in your own life (something that can both help and hurt you)? If so, is the negative aspect something you do reflexively, but the positive seem like something you really have to work at? Does it bother you that there are times when it seems like the negative aspects of the trait are reflexive, rather than rationally deliberated upon and chosen? This has been todays "Self Help" thread brought to you by RJT and Stewart Smalley - because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.

To be competitve, especially in school/work, your going to have that opposite aspect where it becomes negative. Sorta like yin and yang, or Newton's Law I guess I'm trying to get at. To be successful, thats whats going to happen. Just do what u have to do to reach your goal if you want it bad enough, and don't worry about it. Friends/relationships will come and go.

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Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY To be competitve, especially in school/work, your going to have that opposite aspect where it becomes negative. Sorta like yin and yang, or Newton's Law I guess I'm trying to get at. To be successful, thats whats going to happen. Just do what u have to do to reach your goal if you want it bad enough, and don't worry about it. Friends/relationships will come and go.

Oh yeah, definitely - I guess I've just become more and more aware of the negative aspects, and though I don't think they necessarily "ruin" me as a person, it's something that I feel like because I know it happens, I should do more than I do to limit its occurrence.

More than anything I guess I never thought of myself as "competitive", I always thought that was for jocks and super-nerds - but in reality I think I'm probably one of the most competitive people I know, just in a different way.

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Being a perfectionist is both a blessing and a curse. Your work is always good but you're never truly satisfied.

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Originally posted by RJT Oh yeah, definitely - I guess I've just become more and more aware of the negative aspects, and though I don't think they necessarily "ruin" me as a person, it's something that I feel like because I know it happens, I should do more than I do to limit its occurrence. More than anything I guess I never thought of myself as "competitive", I always thought that was for jocks and super-nerds - but in reality I think I'm probably one of the most competitive people I know, just in a different way.

College is set up that way where your in competition with your classmates which sucks and is great at the same time. Its good though cause thats how the buisness world is, and it gets you ready for it. I still have nightmares from bio and organic chem class, hoping I knew more than my classmates did on the exams. The worse they did, they better it was. Bell shaped curve ftl.

I don't have a grain of competition in me, so let me tell you - it's just as bad on the other side. I have great potential, but it never gets noticed, and I never get anywhere. I'm usually content to sit back and watch life happen. Nothing ever stresses or worries me and I never get very excited about anything. But would I consciousely try to change that about myself? No, I don't think. I'm just more comfortable in this position, and with time I've grown to like that about myself, even if it can be a huge disadvantage at times. Better to understand it's implications and it's downsides so you can work around them.

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When bread becomes toast, it can never go back to being bread again.

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Originally posted by UWM Being a perfectionist is both a blessing and a curse. Your work is always good but you're never truly satisfied.

Indeed. I know that it's probably been said by a lot of people about themselves, but I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to mixing. It has to be perfect, absolutely has to. While I've received nothing but compliments and comments such as, "Dude, why the fuck aren't you playing out more often?" most sets I spin I always overblow the negatives.

It's why I haven't really upped a mix. I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've tried recording one. Nothing ever makes it past Audacity, though, because I always find one little half-second blip or one out-of-place track and it bugs the fuck out of me and I'll abandon the entire project altogether. It's got to the point where I'll spend a week or two finding what should be the perfect setlist, then
"practice" spinning it for about a week or so. By that time, I've found new music that I want to include in it so I'll try and rearrange the tracklist again, thus repeating the process.

I know I'm good enough because of said perfectionism, but I just can't fucking stand it.

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Originally posted by RJT Oh yeah, definitely - I guess I've just become more and more aware of the negative aspects, and though I don't think they necessarily "ruin" me as a person, it's something that I feel like because I know it happens, I should do more than I do to limit its occurrence. More than anything I guess I never thought of myself as "competitive", I always thought that was for jocks and super-nerds - but in reality I think I'm probably one of the most competitive people I know, just in a different way.

Rob, I got on you about it twice, but I'll be honest, I was REALLY bad about this until about say, 2-2.5 years ago. I stumbled on an AIM convo that my best friend left open on his machine. I saw my name in the short few lines that were showing, and admittedly, I was curious. I read it, and it was between my best friend and a friends at-the-time girlfriend. I would argue for the sake of arguing and having to be right. For the first week or two after seeing that conversation I was really quiet and didn't argue at all. It took me a few months to start, but I started giving people more credibility, admitting that I can and may be wrong, etc. So I feel your pain in that aspect very much. It still happens, but nowhere near what it did before. I still have a lot of work to do to realize I am doing it at times, but I can tell you, that it has improved the friendships I have.

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Originally posted by bas Dual exhaust tips on dual exhaust = QUAD EXHAUST = 300 gain in horsepower. Duh

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Originally posted by bas Undies with a dickhole aren't good for guys. Your balls can get caught in them. That's why I prefer to go over the gate instead of through the fence.

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Originally posted by idoru Indeed. I know that it's probably been said by a lot of people about themselves, but I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to mixing. It has to be perfect, absolutely has to. While I've received nothing but compliments and comments such as, "Dude, why the fuck aren't you playing out more often?" most sets I spin I always overblow the negatives. It's why I haven't really upped a mix. I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've tried recording one. Nothing ever makes it past Audacity, though, because I always find one little half-second blip or one out-of-place track and it bugs the fuck out of me and I'll abandon the entire project altogether. It's got to the point where I'll spend a week or two finding what should be the perfect setlist, then "practice" spinning it for about a week or so. By that time, I've found new music that I want to include in it so I'll try and rearrange the tracklist again, thus repeating the process. I know I'm good enough, but I just can't fucking stand it.

Sometimes its the imperfections that make them better!

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Originally posted by gehzumteufel Rob, I got on you about it twice, but I'll be honest, I was REALLY bad about this until about say, 2-2.5 years ago. I stumbled on an AIM convo that my best friend left open on his machine. I saw my name in the short few lines that were showing, and admittedly, I was curious. I read it, and it was between my best friend and a friends at-the-time girlfriend. I would argue for the sake of arguing and having to be right. For the first week or two after seeing that conversation I was really quiet and didn't argue at all. It took me a few months to start, but I started giving people more credibility, admitting that I can and may be wrong, etc. So I feel your pain in that aspect very much. It still happens, but nowhere near what it did before. I still have a lot of work to do to realize I am doing it at times, but I can tell you, that it has improved the friendships I have.

Well part of the problem the second time was that if you challenge me on something I'm very passionate about and feel like I have a good handle on, I absolutely will not tolerate the perpetuation of half truths or lies. In those cases, where someone just digs in their heels and doesn't particularly care to acknowledge that they're saying some pretty ridiculous things I get even more fucked off and that's when I end up at a point where I ask myself "For fucks sake, is this even worth it anymore?"

It's often a fine line between education and arrogance, and unfortunately the impression of me I know loads of people are left with falls into the latter, and not the former category.

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Originally posted by Project-K I don't have a grain of competition in me, so let me tell you - it's just as bad on the other side. I have great potential, but it never gets noticed, and I never get anywhere. I'm usually content to sit back and watch life happen. Nothing ever stresses or worries me and I never get very excited about anything. But would I consciousely try to change that about myself? No, I don't think. I'm just more comfortable in this position, and with time I've grown to like that about myself, even if it can be a huge disadvantage at times. Better to understand it's implications and it's downsides so you can work around them.

It's easier to stay in your comfort zone than to venture out where it could have worse repercussions than your usual actions. It is hard to say that either is better really.

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Originally posted by idoru Indeed. I know that it's probably been said by a lot of people about themselves, but I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to mixing. It has to be perfect, absolutely has to. While I've received nothing but compliments and comments such as, "Dude, why the fuck aren't you playing out more often?" most sets I spin I always overblow the negatives. It's why I haven't really upped a mix. I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've tried recording one. Nothing ever makes it past Audacity, though, because I always find one little half-second blip or one out-of-place track and it bugs the fuck out of me and I'll abandon the entire project altogether. It's got to the point where I'll spend a week or two finding what should be the perfect setlist, then "practice" spinning it for about a week or so. By that time, I've found new music that I want to include in it so I'll try and rearrange the tracklist again, thus repeating the process. I know I'm good enough because of said perfectionism, but I just can't fucking stand it.

This one time Lee Burridge was spinning and a record he had was scratched but he didn't see it. The music stopped and he just went with it. The ability to deal with these things in a public setting and allow criticisms is what makes you a BETTER musician and dj.

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Originally posted by bas Dual exhaust tips on dual exhaust = QUAD EXHAUST = 300 gain in horsepower. Duh

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Originally posted by bas Undies with a dickhole aren't good for guys. Your balls can get caught in them. That's why I prefer to go over the gate instead of through the fence.