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Courtesy of my Dad
Police have found the body of a man in Lake Ontario wearing a Leafs jersey, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, and a pink wig. They have removed the Leafs jersey to save the family any embarrassment ...
The other day was take your child to work day. The Leafs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their sons and daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 5-3.
Toskala walks into an ice cream parlor. With some discomfort, he slides onto a stool and orders a sundae. The waitress asks, "Crushed nuts?" He replies, "No, bad knees."
Luke Schenn showed up at his parent's house, and swung the door open. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked. "You'll never believe it!" Luke said. "I was responsible for the winning goal!" "Really? How'd you do that?" "I stood their while their player went around me."
What do the Leafs and a TV evangelist have in common?...They each have the ability to make 20,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!"
A Canadian peacekeeper is walking in a desert when he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie promises to give him 1 wish. The peacekeeper thinks hard and finally takes out a map. He points at the region where he's from and says all he wants is to have peace in that region. "Wow," the genie says, "that's a tough one. Do you have anything else?" The peacekeeper thinks a moment and says: "How about the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?" to which the genie replies: "Let me see that map again."
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