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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States
Together With You - Trance Track

Hello, this is my first post here, and I hope I'll have more to follow.

I've been learning my ways around production for about 4 years now, and I use Reason 4. My birthday, which just passed by recently, provided me with my first keyboard/MIDI controller (I was using my computer keyboard before), and it's helped me a ton on coming up with new melodies and generally finding cool sounds.

This is my first song made with it. It's a WIP, so C&C is what I'm looking for.

http://soundcloud.com/user6247158/together-with-you-1

BIG UPDATE
I added a ton of new stuff and fixed a lot of others. Give it a listen, it's changed a lot.

http://soundcloud.com/user6247158/together-with-you-2

Last edited by Jemuel Pavlic on Nov-18-2009 at 02:38

Old Post Nov-15-2009 19:39 
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sako487
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2009
Location:

Alright, so when the song starts off the melody is a little weak, on the low end you could add a bit more. About your bass, I'd say take out the offbeat and replace it with a full not and sidechain it. The mixdown sounds a little weird, you could try bringing out the main melody a bit more to add some life.

Old Post Nov-15-2009 21:37  United States
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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States

I originally had the bass arpeggiated but some issues with mastering it so that the higher notes weren't overbearing caused me to replace it. I still have the original notes in, so I'll replace it and see what you think.

...

Ok, updated it. I'm having some trouble figuring out what happened to the bass. It got really muddy and it's overpowering the rest of the song.

Last edited by Jemuel Pavlic on Nov-16-2009 at 00:58

Old Post Nov-15-2009 23:37 
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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States

Added new content

Old Post Nov-18-2009 02:37 
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Lindo
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Apr 2006
Location: New York

Hey so I'm listening to the latest version you have updated up there.

- Upbeat right from the beginning

- That arp seems like it might be taking up a lot of space because the other sounds muddy.

- Bass just came in and its nice and deep, but its overwhelming the track. Bad mixdown?

- Pads dropped in and im really digging this feeling. I like all these sounds a lot.

- Breakdown was pretty good Diff snare sound would definitely do it though. That one is a bit cliche?

- Second breakdown? I didn't feel the buildup like for the first one.

Pros: synths, deep bassline, driving energy
Cons: poor mixdown, second buildup/breakdown

Overall: 7/10

Old Post Nov-18-2009 02:46  United States
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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States

quote:
Originally posted by Lindo
Hey so I'm listening to the latest version you have updated up there.

- Upbeat right from the beginning

- That arp seems like it might be taking up a lot of space because the other sounds muddy.

- Bass just came in and its nice and deep, but its overwhelming the track. Bad mixdown?

- Pads dropped in and im really digging this feeling. I like all these sounds a lot.

- Breakdown was pretty good Diff snare sound would definitely do it though. That one is a bit cliche?

- Second breakdown? I didn't feel the buildup like for the first one.

Pros: synths, deep bassline, driving energy
Cons: poor mixdown, second buildup/breakdown

Overall: 7/10


Thanks, really helpful! Mastering is definitely not my strong point, so if you have any advice on what I could do, I'd really appreciate it. Some free snare samples could help too, I can't seem to find any good ones and I ended up using a factory sample out of Reason. I'm glad you mentioned the synths though because I programmed them all myself

Old Post Nov-18-2009 20:26 
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Tomas Klein
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: New York, New York

Listening now as well.

You have a very nice uplifting sound, which is a plus. For starters i'd say your kick sounds a little weak, and the entire intro is a little bland. Also, its a little unusual to start with the melody from the very beginning? maybe bring that in after a couple measures or something. The kick and bass combination sound a little weak.

I really like the stabby melody that comes in during the first build, sounds nice, also good in combination with your harmony.

You have a lot of good stuff working for you in this song, but I think there needs to be more movement and progression!

you have really nice sounds though, definitely keep it up!

Old Post Nov-19-2009 01:18  Germany
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darthseph
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Apr 2005
Location: San Diego, CA, USA

Honesty is the best when it comes to production advice:

The Kick is way to mellow when compared to the melodic line you have there early in the track.

The melodic line early in the track is far too energetic compared to the rest of the production. It also lacks anything to draw me to its energy.

The majority of the percussion feels like an afterthought. The low end is bland while the high end cymbals clash by being overly load to me.

The lead is simple but constructed alright.

Still needs a lot of work I think. I'm not hearing a good direction yet personally.


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Old Post Nov-19-2009 02:39  United States
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Peter Campbell
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Cairns Highlands, Atherton Tablelands

everything that darthseph has said and also try and wright a melody line that will grab everyones attention...Over all everying sounds quite thin?

keep working dude


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Old Post Nov-19-2009 15:04  Australia
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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States

Thanks everyone. If I could ask one favor, where could I get some better percussion samples? I'm using the factory ones and they're awful. I search all over the place but I can never find any decent sounding ones.

I read over all of the critique and I'll try to work more towards your suggestions.

Old Post Nov-19-2009 22:18 
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tehlord
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2009
Location: Windsor

Nice ideas and I pretty much agree with what's already been said.

You mention mastering but I think most of the issues with the track lie in the mixing rather than the mastering. What are you doing on the master channel at the moment?


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Old Post Nov-20-2009 19:52  United Kingdom
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Jemuel Pavlic
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, United States

quote:
Originally posted by tehlord
Nice ideas and I pretty much agree with what's already been said.

You mention mastering but I think most of the issues with the track lie in the mixing rather than the mastering. What are you doing on the master channel at the moment?


I have a compressor, equalizer, etc. in there. Pretty much the mandatory basic stuff. I don't know much more about it.

Old Post Nov-20-2009 20:47 
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